its time to talk about what happend last year

I hadn't done my hair in weeks , my hair was in what was supposed to be a bun at the top of my head but instead of a bun it was a nest of knotted curls that haven't been brushed in weeks. what was once gorgeous thick curls was now thin and brittle waves knotted on the top of my head . what was once glowing skin was now sickly and pale with dark bags under my eyes that matched the color of a plum . my lips were cracked and my eyes were red. I have felt so numb for months and its not like I didn't try reaching for help because i did but soon enough found out that no one cared . my thoughts were venomous , a cancer that ate away at me everyday and kept me up at night. The night I made my decision you were out and told me before you left that it would of been better if I just disappeared . that it would make everyone's life better . But little did you know that's what I was going to do . I gathered what ever was left of my strength and went to the pharmacy where I bought sleeping pills . the woman that checked me out gave me a look , its like she knew but I left quickly before she said anything mainly because I had made up my mind , anyway I proceeded to walk up stairs the house was quiet and I felt the air get heavy I felt myself begin to cry ' you'll be okay '   I whispered to myself  one pill turned into three and three turned into fifteen then fifteen turned into thirty . I laid on my bed and let the pills run their course , it started with my mouth getting dry then my head hurting , the last thing I remember is violently twitching and a door opening before it all went black . And that was it I did it . I woke up to bright hospital lights and an ugly patterned chair to my right side . I felt numb and was upset that I woke up because I didn't want to wake up what was even more painful was that I woke up alone because obviously dying alone wasn't painful enough . And call me crazy but I feel as if a apart of me never came back there's a part of me that's missing and I have this hole in my chest and what's really strange is that ill never know who opened the door,