Those Colorful Puzzle Pieces
I've noticed and been told,
By my mother who truth be told,
Feels and acts in the same ways,
But does not have the same processes
To get to the relatively same outcomes, or feelings about things as me (it's hopeless
To try and understand her thought processes),
That I might be on the autism spectrum because of my thought processes.
The way I experience the world with so much more intensity,
Every color, every color scheme, pattern, texture, artwork, art motif, long/unusal/archaic/scientific/magickal word,
Cutting through me like a sword,
Not sharp, but getting straight to my soul, straight to the point,
Everything I see, I pinpoint,
Every language, dialect, regional words, pronunciation, accent, mouth movement and speech pattern, facial tics, I notice them all,
Overcast days, dappled afternoon sunlight, rainbows and moonbows, every season, winter, spring, summer, fall.
Every song, verse, rhythm, instrument, and meanings and emotional feelings conveyed,
Punctuations, smells, tastes, places, aesthetics (particularly in computer/video games, music, and art), and histories, I cannot seem to moderate
The intensity with which I sense, see, feel, and categorise these things.
Every aspect of nature, of poetry, of my surroundings in a special or new place, and so many more things.
It's not just all things I like,
There are also things that I dislike,
Like the bottoms of feet, they look like palms that never close, with protruding finger bases (the underside of the knuckles),
Or people who hold the tip of their tongue against the back of their lower teeth every time they open their mouth, lacking coordination of their muscles,
Or people who say "I don't know why but I really like ____" when they know full well why, and are just embarrassed for liking the most trivial of things,
Amongst other things.
I have also noticed that I gravitate towards extremes,
Each day, my style of dress and what music I listen to, changes between extremes,
Extremely gentle, extremely pagan and spiritual, extremely angry, harsh, dark, morbid, and depressing, extremely dated (meaning era specific), extremely formal, extremely classic, ect....
(And no, I don't have mood swings, just a diffent style in mind daily.)
I've also heard that there's a theory,
That makes sense, tons,
That those with autism, have more neurons,
Because the ones from when we were growing up, never died back,
And so it seems to me that we lack,
The ability to process without extra or over-stimulation,
For our daily operation.
And now I see,
Coming together, those colorful puzzle pieces, finally.
So, I think I might just very well be,
On the light end of the spectrum, you see?
...And there's no better place to be!