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The Torment of Realizing

she laid it all out,      
her phone off          
no distractions -          
fully present          
time to feel this          
 
she chose coffee          
with a soul          
who understands          
the agony of coexisting            
with a mind splintered;          
the pain of living on,          
seven days after dying          
by her own hand;          
the nauseating guilt          
of her audacity          
to figure it all out,          
one day too late;          
the torment of realizing            
her epiphanies          
and apologies            
don’t mean shit          
to those caught          
in the icy grip          
of her shadow;          
   
not this time,          
anyway
         
         
how beautiful it is,          
love given freely          
without a rule of thumb          
to measure her by,          
especially when she knows          
she’s always going to          
come up short;          
gift-wrapped          
and placed softly            
inside her upturned palms,          
healing hands held hers          
from across the table,          
eyes full of grace            
and understanding          
falling upon her face          
as all her words,          
made of the          
overwhelming          
         
sorrow          
repentance          
heartache          
heartbreak          
anger          
loss          
pain          
forgiveness          
hope          
love
         
         
it all spilled out,          
flowing headstrong          
over the gates          
she’d constructed          
to keep them          
all safely          
inside her mouth;          
when she was finished,          
she looked for proof          
that she’d been          
too much,          
that her emotions had been          
too big to share;          
but she found none -          
instead her heart  
found          
the compassion          
of an old friend          
staring back,
and she was thankful          
LunaGreyhawk
Written by LunaGreyhawk
Published | Edited 16th Nov 2019
Author's Note
Written for the Thankful competition 💜
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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DevilsChild Jade-Pandora DanielChristensen Josh EdibleWords AspergerPoet56 Unredeemed
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