where you end and I begin

 

 
 
i sit here amidst the stoic silence  
interjected by the static of intelligent machinery  
the whole assembly at my service  
to comprehend  
apprehend  
 
the finer balance or
lack of it  
 
i am the cynosure  
i am the star  
i am number sixty seven  
hiding my scar  
 
in another time  
i am the dinosaur  
 
giant hope and staggering dream  
crushed by the fine print  
of paper  
 
in another millennium  
i am extinct  
in lineal time  
a moment stretched evermore
till the clouds engulf  
 
i clutch my report  
malignant
that’s the nature  
of my cancer  
 
it has sucked my life sap  
blasted my cells
one at a time  
 
or may be an entire colony-  
pure statistics  
 
killing them  
annihilating me  
 
an invisible black hole  
of life force  
 
the cycle has begun  
the damage been done  
the corridor is blurred  
the faces hazy  
the presence-transitory  
my presence-momentary  
 
a crushing swirling tide  
of self-pity rises  
 
a dissolute phoenix  
at a redundant hour  
 
slow acid pushes  
thru the iris  
i shut the light  
and feel the silent storm  
of screaming silence  
while my sullen face is corroded  
into deep crevasse of sudden grief  
 
the heavenly hope in me  
gets marauded  
years become prolongations  
of infinitesimal moments  
and life—a veritable collage  
of fragments of emotions  
and reveries and laughter  
and sunshine and soaring highs  
 
the smile lingers  
and the blissful joyride stretches on  
till ominous clouds obliterate  
and the severe heaviness sinks in  
alone i find myself stranded
in the torrential downpour  
 
a tiny whiny school girl  
soaked and teary eyed  
in the park  
 
silent prayers on my lips continue  
as the heavens roar  
 
a soft touch on my head  
and the warmth seeps in  
a kind face looks down  
full of altruistic love  
celestial unknown yet
strikingly familiar  
 
a guardian angel  
a cherub  
spiritual guide  
 
a benign smile lights it up-  
an alleviated hard sun  
sparkling beams of ruddy hope flood in  
a rainbow forms across  
tremendous
seamless  
 
i open my eyes with a start  
they twitch and burn and
i register an old lady  
when i turn  
being wheeled out  
her functions arrested  
strictly clinical  
   
a human being  
a vegetable  
lesser  
ignoramus  
god  
 
tubes channelizing  
the endoplasmic force  
 
her eyes meet mine-
scintillating stars in the face of  
gaping and certain death  
hollow and cruel  
 
or the certain awareness  
of the cellar door  
   
frozen tears spill and a bursting fullness  
kicks in  
 
like an unforeseen  
infused placental Jesus  
 
the angelic voice sings-  
a superlative eruption  
the path is lingering  
and usurious-no doubt  
and the expedition taxing  
and the fear-mortal  
but it’s not the finish  
nor the fiends—never them,  
rather the walk
the little bubbles  
and the tiny steps  
the seraphs  
all the way  
and the modest breaths  
and endless winks  
 
it’s a walk on a razor wire  
with a mountain  
on your shoulders  
   
but you are not solitary,  
stationary
  
you are a tiny supernova replete with
unsaturated dreams
wishes

the cognizant soul  
   
the dot matrix ink will cease to exist
the lustrous tresses too  
the arteries will dry  
the flawless skin will wither  
but the smile on your lips  
will originate from deep  
and fill the hole  
and the soul  
 
cry a river  
smile a galaxy  
wink an eternity  
 
you are a universe  
you are the universe  
the undying panorama  
of suspended belief  
and renewable zeal  
the giant bunny rabbit  
of immortal conviction  
   
you are...