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Katie

i am broken in the right places now
hollowed
and light as wind,
and all my memories swirled
and all my words
and all my wordless thoughts
and secret wishes
and him gone on
and her gone
and all my days gone, too
and one still wonders why
you would bring me here
and coddle me
and call me sweet girl
just to set me loose
when we all know how it ends

Written by javalini

Published 8th Nov 2019

Author's Note

We had a code blue a couple weeks ago. The old woman had advanced Parkinson's and dementia and a slew of problems, and she had been in our care for months. She was a "full code," so we had to try to resuscitate her though I honestly knew she was gone before we started. It has stuck with me.

#TruthOfLife

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Re. Katie

Ahavati

8th Nov 2019 2:52pm

I was a state certified EMT for two years, Javalini. I wanted to try out the field before going for my paramedic - I knew it was time to quit when I started bringing it home, particularly the deaths.

I truly related to this one. Thank you for sharing

Read poems by Ahavati

javalini

8th Nov 2019 3:14pm

Thanks for reading and commenting.
I've been doing this work for almost 14 years. It's always felt an odd fit and a bit uncomfortable, yet exactly where I should be. Some incidents weigh on the spirit, though.
Thanks again. Your comments are always appreciated.