Maternal Instincts

When I was thirteen,
In the stage between  
Child and adult,  
As a result,  
My maternal instincts kicked in,  
I wanted to find someone, and love to be in,  
Someone much older than me, more mature, and much cuter than those in my age range and disposition,  
And I wanted more than anything else...with whoever I chose, to be a mother.  
  
You know how going through all the crazy emotions of puberty,  
Can really affect you emotionally,  
This is not something I have ever told anyone,  
Because I thought it would not be important to me or to anyone,  
And I knew, no matter how badly I wanted it,  
I was not yet ready for it,  
Not ready to take care of another.  
   
I had never acted upon those urges, though they drove me crazy!  
And at the time, it greatly messed with my psyche,  
Then when I turned fourteen,  
Then came an occurrence unforeseen,  
The dire urge to have a baby, began to fade...and then it left me.  
Though I still hoped one day to meet the right someone, I was happy just being me.  
I thought little kids were cute, but they were not for me,  
I no longer wanted to be a parent.  
   
Then one night, playing that game, I found you...  
I found a love so true,  
You kindled a spark within me,  
And for three years, the flame grew within me.  
Now it's a roaring wildfire,  
Eros certainly did not misfire.  
Everything you do, my heart, it does inspire,  
This true love is quite apparent.  
   
Now, so far away from you, and also from my home,  
And a love so blissome,  
A feeling I have known all too well,  
Has come out of its shell,  
In little waves here and there, it came over me,  
And now has taken a hold of me.  
Before, it was frivolous, puberty, talking,  
But now, It's real.  
   
I go to the store,  
And I have to stay away from the baby section once more,  
For fear of causing a scene,  
It's so mean!  
I see the smiling babies on the packages,    
I silently weep, my heart, it teases,  
I'm so young and not ready for those circumstances,  
But I'm ready to discuss these feelings, so real.  
   
I feel as if I've known you my whole life,  
And it stabs me like a knife,  
Knowing we don't even know each other,  
More than two brief meetings, happiness, I hope I can foster,  
If we ever run into each other again,  
That is why I keep my eyes open, in case I see you again.  
I feel as if I've loved you for years and years,  
And wish I could tell you how soon I think I would be ready to have little ones with you.  
   
I wish I could go to the store holding your hand,  
My strong, sweet, handsome man, so gallant,  
Heavily with child,  
Glowing with a feeling, like an ancient vine, running wild,  
Glowing with an unstoppable love, and happiness,  
And the sweetest kiss  
For everyone to witness.  
But for fear of frightening you, I won't tell you, until I've gotten to know you.  
   
My heart aches  
Seeing the glow on lovers faces  
And you're not there  
To share  
With me, those feelings,  
I would love to see the feelings,  
And suprise on others faces,  
Thinking "oh, how sweet, he's taking his granddaughter shopping...oh...."  
   
Realizing that we're actually related by marriage,    
Or others who think "awwww....", at that image,  
That they see  
Of a happy family to-be.  
I feel that good things are coming our way,  
But it still hurts when we are away  
From each other,  
Even if I have to wait until you can know.  
   
I get butterflies, imagining  
The pride and joy on your face as you are holding  
Or bouncing  
One of our little angels on your knee,  
Or the pride and joy on your face when you see  
The pride and joy on my face when I am holding for the first time,  
One of our little angels, in a moment so sublime,  
And I can't wait for these feelings, for you to know.