Image for the poem the next episode

the next episode

  † †
an eighties child...a chic mod †  
listening to Prince and Bowie †
watching ET. Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, the Goonies †
preppies sporting Izods and members-only jackets †
dreaming of living in Malibu and going to Pepperdine college †  
Reaganomics and D.A.R.E or drug abuse resistance education †
it didn't work on me  
I had a wild streak †
I dare to try heroin at seventeen †
I dare to investigate the seedy side of life first hand †
by age eighteen I was on methadone
fighting a hardcore addiction †
that year I rip and run just to survive
stealing to make a living †
I was down and out before it was popular †
the nineties had nothing on me †
I killed myself many times over †
living every day like there would be no tomorrow †
I thought I would never die †
I believed I was immortal †
Curt Cobain popularized heroin and death †
glorified it even †
the years of grunge †
today Seattle collects the souls of lost teens by the thousands †  
now here we are in the twenty-first century †
it's all about technology and text talk
people don't dare anymore...they are afraid †
huddling in computer protected homes †
left communicating with our gadgets †
what's the point of all of this †
I don't know †
I fear I'm closing this chapter of my journey †
I haven't been well †
I have to see a specialist †
to see what's wrong with my guts †
I have no energy anymore †
I fear my thirteen years on methadone-- †
suffering chronic constipation †  
may have been the beginning of my end †
my dad had stomach cancer †
I fear I might too †
tomorrow I see the specialist and begin testing †
I won't let them cut me open †
I don't think I will do chemo †
I think I will end this chapter †
I'm bored and I don't like what I see anymore †

Written by crimsin (Unveiling)
Published | Edited 5th Nov 2019
Author's Note

I'm feeling morose my symptoms may be for other reasons
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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