deepundergroundpoetry.com
Just an elevator?
that only goes up and down??
~ frown~
Child, you're lacking imagination
See you later, Alligator!
As for you, Crocodile ...
~ smile ~
I wish you
would stay a while;
take a further tour with me
Together, we can explore the four
corners of my factory ( and there may
even be a room or two or three
I myself have never seen before! )
We can zoom about in this fabulous
glass observatory that zips and glides
and dips but never collides as it flip de trips
and loop de loops -
Oh! Look down there!
Let's say goodbye
~ wave ~
to the Gloops!
Hey, Little Bucket Boy!
There's more to this silly story
you have yet to read
and I need -
~ cough ~
and I think
you would be great at
keeping me company
~wink~
Charlie, would you take a ride with me?
~ frown~
Child, you're lacking imagination
See you later, Alligator!
As for you, Crocodile ...
~ smile ~
I wish you
would stay a while;
take a further tour with me
Together, we can explore the four
corners of my factory ( and there may
even be a room or two or three
I myself have never seen before! )
We can zoom about in this fabulous
glass observatory that zips and glides
and dips but never collides as it flip de trips
and loop de loops -
Oh! Look down there!
Let's say goodbye
~ wave ~
to the Gloops!
Hey, Little Bucket Boy!
There's more to this silly story
you have yet to read
and I need -
~ cough ~
and I think
you would be great at
keeping me company
~wink~
Charlie, would you take a ride with me?
Written by
JohnnyBlaze
Published 30th Oct 2019
Author's Note
for the comp "Tales of the Unexpected" @ https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/11063/
inspired by Dahl's "Charlie And The Chocolate Factory"
inspired by Dahl's "Charlie And The Chocolate Factory"
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 4
comments 19
reads 134
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Just an elevator?
30th Oct 2019 7:49pm
Ha! How did I know you would pick that one?!
Love the staggering affect this one has on its reader! It's a zig-zaggy ride, and definitely falls into tale of the unexpected! Particularly thought the em-dashed words had a powerful stop'n go effect.
Love the staggering affect this one has on its reader! It's a zig-zaggy ride, and definitely falls into tale of the unexpected! Particularly thought the em-dashed words had a powerful stop'n go effect.
1

Re: Re. Just an elevator?
30th Oct 2019 8:28pm
Heh! It's the only story of his I'm familiar with!
Thank you! I'm glad you found the poem's ride enjoyable!
And I just had to write it because you love Dahl!
XO
Thank you! I'm glad you found the poem's ride enjoyable!
And I just had to write it because you love Dahl!
XO
Re. Just an elevator?
30th Oct 2019 11:38pm
Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 00:55am
Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 00:55am
Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 00:48am
Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 00:56am
Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 1:02am
Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 4:02pm
Though not Your intention
for me,
a relatable spill (Flight of Ideas)
but Yours is much more poetic
for me,
a relatable spill (Flight of Ideas)
but Yours is much more poetic
1

Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 4:25pm
Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 4:34pm
Verbal __A.D.D.__
( What is flight of ideas in mental health?
A person experiencing a flight of ideas may be extremely excited or anxious. Flight of ideas itself is not a mental health condition, but can be a symptom of one. )
( What is flight of ideas in mental health?
A person experiencing a flight of ideas may be extremely excited or anxious. Flight of ideas itself is not a mental health condition, but can be a symptom of one. )
1

Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 4:41pm
Re: Re. Just an elevator?
31st Oct 2019 4:55pm
I never came across a Fight
of ideas when i was a Psychiatric Nurse
but the subject of - Flight
of ideas came up a lot.
Maybe FIGHT of IDEAS
is an ideological war?
(which many of us watch all the effin time in the forums -- lol)
of ideas when i was a Psychiatric Nurse
but the subject of - Flight
of ideas came up a lot.
Maybe FIGHT of IDEAS
is an ideological war?
(which many of us watch all the effin time in the forums -- lol)
0

Re. Just an elevator?
1st Nov 2019 4:08am
When I read that book, I remember the glass elevator being my favorite part, when it kept going, I didn't want the story to end, I wanted to know where it was going next, this reminded me of that, good luck in the comp :)
1

Re: Re. Just an elevator?
1st Nov 2019 11:00am
Re. Just an elevator?
2nd Nov 2019 00:59am
Although you have Johnny Depp as your avatar for some reason I imagined Gene Wilder.
Great piece. Good luck in the comp.
Great piece. Good luck in the comp.
1

Re: Re. Just an elevator?
2nd Nov 2019 3:34pm