Living Dead Girl (Abwhored)

In my head they run around,
thoughts that form without a sound
endlessly to plague my fears
inside these hollow, rusted gears.
 
I am not myself anymore,
never was my mind so abwhored,
no longer planning by sequential thought,
each moment a fragment soon forgot.
 
What I know not or would ever again
in a rattling brain in a space too big,
dead to the world and dead inside,
from all this mayhem I run and hide.
 
Endlessly, I bolt away
not remembering how I played
when my brain was alive and full,
now it shrinks inside my skull.
 
My human body is just a shell
to cover the truth they know so well,
I can't remember who I had been
or see the familiar in anything.
 
Help me, I am still alive,
a walking ghost, Im trapped inside.
I only want this torture to end:
being fucked like a doll with no real friends.
 
          .....