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[ SK ] When White Blacks Out
It poured down from the rafter
followed with familiar, but far away
voices displaced by the
laughter
all about
laughter
all about her
Erased, a book blank paged---
author replaced by a thing enraged
when white blacks out
when white blacks out
behind bars coming uncaged
after seeing through blood red
when white blacks out
when white blacks out
never again to be upstaged
willing everyone around her dead
when
White
blacks
out
( previous version )
Erased, a book blank paged -
author replaced by an enraged
thing behind bars coming uncaged
when white blacks out
Hear their laughter?
voices displaced said
Willing everyone around her dead
after seeing through blood red
when white blacks out
when
White
blacks
out
Author's Note
inspired by Stephen King's "Carrie"
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 3
comments 19
reads 636
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. When White Blacks Out
25th Oct 2019 2:05pm
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
26th Oct 2019 4:04pm
Re. When White Blacks Out
25th Oct 2019 2:58pm
Another great entry for this series. What I enjoy about it is that I can tell what inspired it, yet I don't know what's coming because you portray it differently in each poem.
3
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
25th Oct 2019 6:06pm
i agree... a stand-alone piece that inspires many thought-trails, yet—when linked to s.k—is clearly representative
nice halloween piece!
nice halloween piece!
1
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
26th Oct 2019 4:11pm
Thank you. ❤📝 I think when I start developing a particular style, that's when it's time to retire.
This one admittably needs some work; I'm not satisfied with it. I'll be returning to add a revision above it.
This one admittably needs some work; I'm not satisfied with it. I'll be returning to add a revision above it.
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
26th Oct 2019 4:13pm
Re. When White Blacks Out
25th Oct 2019 8:09pm
I get some interesting images here Mr Blaze. Another excellent write.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
1
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
26th Oct 2019 4:14pm
Re. When White Blacks Out
26th Oct 2019 00:12am
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
26th Oct 2019 4:15pm
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
26th Oct 2019 10:40pm
Re. When White Blacks Out
27th Oct 2019 2:36am
I got a whole vibe of Jekyll and Hyde in this too, the someone laughed at her and complete personality change on someone who loves hers part. It's great. So many layers, so many wicked, delicious ways to take it. Thank you.
1
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
27th Oct 2019 11:56am
Re. When White Blacks Out
27th Oct 2019 10:48pm
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
28th Oct 2019 00:01am
Re. When White Blacks Out
28th Oct 2019 9:23pm
I went back to re-read as if though I had missed something, then slowly read it out loud, And then I felt the rhyme and repetition sinking in.
Excellent piece Johnny.
Excellent piece Johnny.
1
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
29th Oct 2019 00:30am
Re. When White Blacks Out
29th Oct 2019 3:23am
Dear JB,
Like Wally, I had to read almost sing this out loud. It went from really cool to really sinister cool. I dug the spooky vibe. Excellent!
H🌷
Like Wally, I had to read almost sing this out loud. It went from really cool to really sinister cool. I dug the spooky vibe. Excellent!
H🌷
1
Re: Re. When White Blacks Out
29th Oct 2019 4:41pm
Thank you, Honoria. I never read anything of mine out loud, so its reassuring that something intentional is getting across.