My Downfalls

I don't know what I can do to make people genuinely care.
How can I make them actually enjoy the time that I'm there?
I'm not the first person that anyone called.
When I walk in the room they seem appalled.

Is it because I'm boring?
Are the things I say annoying?
Is it because I'm blunt and say the first thing that comes to my mind?
Maybe it's my old-fashioned thinking and how I'm refined.

Am I socially awkward without knowing?
Is it because my rude side is always showing?
Maybe I'm not nice enough.
Or maybe, not mean enough?

Is it because I don't take joy in tearing people down?
Is it because I no longer allow people to push me around?
Was my company ever actually enjoyed?
Is it all of these? Or am I just paranoid?

Do I treat people wrong and then think I'm the victim?
I need to know if it's me or the others who are wicked.
I just want to know what makes me so undesirable.
I can't deal with being the person who's replaceable.

When I picture my death, I see no one there.
In my future I see no one with any time to spare.
Let me know before I lose you all.
I can face all of my downfalls.