deepundergroundpoetry.com

Excuses

 
My friends champagne tasting party is
tonight.  
 
I'd rather not attend.  
 
Excuses are as follows:  
 
I don't want to wax my mustache.  
 
I'm too bloated for bubbles.  
 
I'm too broke to afford good champagne; they'll be mortified if I bring a bottle of baby duck.  
 
I have no clean underwear.  
 
I want to stay under the covers. Come on man, it's Saturday.  
 
It's shit weather outside anyway.  
 
I would rather get drunk alone like I normally do on Saturdays.  
 
I'm on my period.  
 
Consuming all that cheese tonight will set back a weeks worth of progress at the gym.  
 
I hate everyone.  
 
I don't know anyone there.  
 
I'll hate everyone I don't know.  
 
I have yesterday's old margarita mix in a blender; I'm still hungover.  
 
The mere audacity of this pretentious ass invite makes me want to gag.  
 
I'll be in a pissy mood all damn night.  
 
When I told my girlfriend she could count on me, I was simply bullshittin'.  
 
Spongebob is on Netflix.  
 
... ..  
...  
..  
.  
 
I don't have anymore fucking excuses.  
 
Written by LostGirl18
Published
Author's Note
Ugh.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10 reading list entries 3
comments 0 reads 860
Commenting Preference: 
The author has chosen not to accept comments.

Latest Forum Discussions
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:38pm by Ahavati
COMPETITIONS
Today 1:21pm by Rachelleundrgrd
COMPETITIONS
Today 1:08pm by Rachelleundrgrd
POETRY
Today 12:33pm by Grace
SPEAKEASY
Today 11:21am by Ahavati
SPEAKEASY
Today 6:24am by shadow_starzzz