Deep Thoughts

All my life I've told myself I mean something and everything is okay
That this world is a special place
Even that is a lie with proof from the bruises
The scars bleeding and dripping through the barrier

All through out my life i've seen things
Things a 6 year old can't forget
The crying from a Mother with her heart broken
The screaming from a father with no control

All through this 1 year i've seen things
How easy it is to lose a best friend
Complications with people and society
Personal thoughts that keep me up every hour at night

All day i've tried not to cry
With the thought echoing in my head screaming "You're all alone!"
That I am absolutely worthless and am a mistake
Nothing seems to bring a smile to this depressed face anymore

All my life i've told myself that I mean something and that everything is okay
Am I just lying to myself on purpose or out of protection.?