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Somewhere Love Must Reside

It's frightening what you can do
When you are desperately trying
To hold on to a love unrequited
You'll lie, pester, you'll get angry
You will try hatefulness, pressure
You might even try virtual stalking

You will act completely out of character
You will overstep boundaries contacting
When you have been warned not to
Then they break off all contact options
Which fatally wounds and breaks your heart
But how could they do anything else

She loved another, I lost the battle
I couldn't compete certainly in looks
This old broken down chair bound cripple
Sounds of 'Oh Ruby, don't take your love
To town'
flooded my broken mind and soul
The feeling of being unlovable sits heavy
Arches my shoulders pressing down hard

With a razor I cute her initials into my arm
A ragged, pink, uneven self-inflicted tattoo
The razor danced playfully with serious intent
It's the wrist razor pressure length ways, right?
Voices through an Ethernet cable "Just Do It!"
Confirms my mind fuck, unlovable status
I've never experienced real love, not ever!

Now I have no faith or trust left to break
I know that someday soon I will die alone
My greatest torment, my worst nightmare
It floats around the corner, this red fog
It will eventually catch me and consume
When I was thirteen I had never experienced
Love and therefore deemed myself as unlovable

This prediction has sadly come true
Sitting here I think what's the fucking point
Closer to death than life
All it takes is a little push
Shove and trip a human snarl
Oh how they'd celebrate
Clinking champagne glasses
People not yet a wake
I'm still trapped in that love

Never loved guides me blindly
To desire my hole in the ground
When I will finally find peace
'In the arms of the angels'
Maybe just maybe
That is where
Real love
Written by David_Macleod (David Macleod)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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