Subconscious Wanderlust

tell me what to say to silence the whisper
as I expose the narrative of these lies that speak through images
when faces are triggers before their seen
the object of my disaffection
and a history that haunts me with temptation

I dreamt betrayal and woke up seeing myself as the monster in my nightmares
God forbid my sins uncommitted make their way to the light
when it proves to be a darkness that stains my breath

freedom is such a painful reality
when we forge our own chains of abuse
caught between a stone heart
and a hard place to come clean

ultimatum threats to seal fates contrived of mistakes
I never did only what I thought
but my mind is playing tricks on me
and I'm guilty of contemplating without follow through
but I won't sell out, when the fool I make of me is the fool I make of you

pray for me when the wrong doors are open
I'm learning to shut portals to death
writing a vision for focus upon which to set my sight
when everything I resist is my hearts way to say, you're worth the fight

guilt trips of my subconscious wanderlust
I've been places in my mind
and seen things that scar pictures in my head
I make confessions with my pleas to conscience
trying to discern what's better to expose or better left unsaid

I speak to diffuse and disenchant the fantasy
and make my way back to the beauty of reality
for the life and death of me

the pleasure is never worth the pain it causes
when the words of love are nullified for the actions that don't equate
when all that's left in the aftermath of sorrow is to become something that I hate

gag reflex serenades, regurgitated lies that seem so true
in truth nothing satisfies me the way you do
when it's in vain the craving I pursue
it leaves me feeling empty when I hurt you...
Written by cloventongue89 (Nathaniel Peter)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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