Smitten: Groupies

Smitten: Groupies    
      
     “Doug, my sister auditioned for a part in a TV miniseries. I must confess I’m a little unsettled by the role she is trying out for.”
     “Well good for her. Another TV starlet in the family. What is she auditioning for?”
     “A woman who seduces very old rich men to marry her to inherit their wealth.”
     “Sounds like the perfect character for her to play. What is for din-din darling?”
     “But sweetie Bianca and I look alike. Her being a TV vamp may attract unwanted attention for me in public. The preview of her is already being broadcast.”
      “Let me take you out for dinner and you’ll see no one will bother us.”
     They sit across the table from each other savoring angel hair pasta with Alfredo sauce along with zinfandel wine. Suddenly a young man no more than twenty approaches them like a cop staking out the situation. He seems too fascinated by her lipstick which he eyes like a spellbound groupie.
     “Are you the one and only Bianca from the show ‘Gold Digger on the Prowl?’”
     Doug says, “Get lost clown.”
     Ro tells the starry-eyed lad, “Honey, I’m only her sister. Those gaga eyes are misdirected. Please tell all your fellow fans that I am not she.”
     The lad says, “You sure are just as pretty as your sister. Can I have a selfie with you?”
     “If my husband Doug doesn’t mind. You don’t mind a little picture do you, sweetie?”
     Doug replies, “What will he do with your image? Blow it up into a poster and put it on his wall? I was young once and know the mentality.”
     Suddenly a throng of young men and women circle them like a posse who found their person. Rowena obliges them with smiles and pouts. A few bring framed portraits of Bianca they found on the web and printed out. Per their request, she plays the idolatry game by marking the images with her lipstick.
     Doug exclaims, “Cut it out! He stands and lunges at the crowd which retreats like a deer on the run.
     Ro says, “Oh you are spoiling my fun. What did it hurt for me to play like my sister just for a while?”
     Doug says, “Enough is enough. If a man can’t enjoy a quiet dinner with his wife what has America come too?”
     “Well it looks like the only way that is feasible now is for me to cook at home. Please don’t pull a stunt by trying to scare off the fans again. It was unnecessary and in bad taste.”
     Doug replies, “The only kind of taste pertinent to this situation is the pasta and wine. Anything else is the bad taste you are referring too.”
     “Oh my man, I didn’t kiss them. I just gave them a little lipstick smear on a picture. You are overreacting and really need to calm down.”
     “If I told you to cool it you’d be furious. Talk about a double standard. Women don’t always get the short end of the stick.”
     “More often than not my love. Now let’s enjoy this fare. Life is too short to fuss over a little interruption of our dining experience.”
     “You looked like you were enjoying the attention.”
     “It was like being worshipped. However, your adoration is way better. I never want to be the starlet whose marriage was ruined by her career. I got an even bigger thrill when you fended them off as a knight defends his lady.”
     Doug replies, “Well how can I top that with a follow-up? Would you like me to take you to the movies? In the darkened theater no one will see you much less mistake you for your sister.”
     “There are other advantages to being in the dark.”
     “Are you kidding me? If I flick your bic we’ll get escorted out and miss the ending.”
     “Doug, I’ve got an itch befitting a witch amidst on-broom vibration. I give you permission to step out of your starched suit and into the arms of the woman who loves you.”