Little Exercise

I'm at a loss of words at what an amazing tribute this is to Bishop's poem of the same name. I mean, jeez ... there are more poeticisms packed into this than I could muster in a hundred poems of my own. And you wrote the whole darn thing just like that.

For every stanza there is something for the mind to feast upon.

❤📝

Thank you.  I truly appreciate all your love, encouragement, and support.  💜📝

💜😊

hi, A... so so much to enjoy here. whilst i cannot claim enough familiarity with bishop to be able to make comparisons in style, as a poem this is delicious.

my favourite stanza right now is #2, for that word 'urushiol', but also for the noting that blistering passes, as does pain. it may leave scars but it is of a temporary nature--like an attack of anxiety

in s4, you use 'nest' twice - works in either/both places, but given your normal reticence to repeat a word that closely, wondering if you intended to change that? maybe along the lines of 'including the wasps expanding their hive/in your chest, your heart now a mangled nest' or 'including the wasp's nest expanding its hive/in your chest, your heart now a mangled mess'? i did notice the soundlinks you employ in each third line, and chest/nest tie in tightly, neatly, even though 'nest' in the 2nd line connects with 'chest' so it's up for grabs :D

also, wondering about s5:

your bloodstream, an angry swarm of drones      
stampeding from all contact, seeking survival      
in the pocketed passages of isolated capillaries.

the way this reads to me, the punctuation has the bloodstream seeking survival, so seeks? or maybe an em dash after bloodstream? i really love your 'pocketed passages of isolated capillaries': links to me with the visuals of the honeycombed 'pockets' of survival in the hive and the isolation found within each contained cell. a distancing, a safety, an escape.

Hey butters, thanks for the time and attention. It's truly appreciated.  

I am saddened you have not read Elizabeth Bishop! She was a powerhouse of poetics. I do hope you read her soon.  I have done several tribute poems to her works.  I love her style.  One actually won a prize money competition and was published.  

In regards to your critique:  

I appreciate the critical eyes - this was one of those that just came out, so I am fine tuning her.  Sometimes everything gets put on the back-burner until the timer goes off; this was one such time.  I typically hold off posting such for a few days, but I wanted some eyes on this one early. So I will definitely visit your suggestions about double-words.  

In reference to S5, I meant the bloodstream, yes. I know my friends often explain their anxiety attacks as  blood flowing so loud they can hear it in their ears. I imagined a stampede seeking isolation from contact.  Most people I know suffering anxiety seek solitude in the deepest recesses of privacy.  

Bloodstream seeking or seeks.  I was thinking of the assonance and consonance of the ing between stampeding and seeking.  I'll consider it as well.  

Thank you muchly for your time and input. It is greatly appreciated.

I did substitute the second nest for roost. I don't like duplicating words that close - I think it limits our vocabulary.  

that works :)

forgot to mention the small bites of stanza reinforce the overall message so well... for everything there is something, a small mantra to repeat as a little exercise. too cool.

Thanks, butters. Just another way of saying 'This too shall pass' in some way or form.  

Appreciate your time and observations.

Wordless A... Beautiful greenery of nature power runs not juz as lifeline as Love as Purity..but as as healing n rejuvenating revival..a rebirth in motherly lap.. the refrain works fab at all levels ..

For everything there is something..

Excellent share as ever.. also happy to notice the detailing active ingredients n nature principle specifics as a flawless poetic... thanks x:)

Thank you, my friend.  I so appreciate your presence and observations here.  Both are truly valued. xo

Wow a verbal apothecary gift wrapped in metaphor and magic, you have too many delicious line to call out and some stunning visuals that keep the reader engaged and well fed. A delightfully balance read to sooth my distracted mind.

Thank you, Razzerleaf, much appreciated and happy it soothed your mind.  That was its essence and intent.  

We are animals indeed, Tim! LOL!

Your observations are deeply appreciated.

Poison Oak metaphor?!!!  Damnit!!  Incredible and drew me in immediately
(also had me on a tangent looking up Bishop's works among other topics to satisfy my  
" Flight of ideas " gig.)  BTW, a cold coffee and baking soda paste does wonders for  
the itch and blisters and cheaper to acquire.

Loved all the metaphors in this spill

Thank you, Tallen.  One of our earlier Classic Corner Comps was tributing Bishop. There were some amazing poems in that.  I think I wrote three or four myself, but only because she is one of my all-time favorites.  Her gift for insight and observation always amazed me.

I appreciate your observations. Thank you, my friend.

The something of everything............

wright-on, babe.

Write on, Dada! *fist bump*

"sinking into dirt and grass, breathing in time  with her natural algorithm" .... masterly.

I must read some Elizabeth Bishop.  Although to be honest ... I must just read - something.

She was an amazing poet. I truly think her observatory nature would resonate with you.  Make sure you read 'A Cold Spring' or 'At the Fish Houses' , and 'Filling Station'.  

And thank you for your comments; always appreciated.

Thank you for those reading suggestions ... I shall make a point of reading them :)

For everything there is something—
including that wasp’s nest expanding its hive
in your chest, the heart now a mangled roost;

I haven’t read Elizabeth Bishop (just added her to my list) but you’ve captured anxiety by the neck here with these lines.  I love the intertwining of nature throughout - it resonates with me deeply.  Really amazing piece to read and re-read 💜.  

Thank you, Luna.  I truly appreciate the validation regarding anxiety and your observations. xo

Thank you, Rose.  Your observations are much appreciated.

Nature is my church and Love my religion ( though I fail miserably at times! LOL! )  xo

Metaphor magic A! There is a crack in everything...it is how the light gets in.
Cheers...Harry

Right on, Harry, my friend!

Thank you, as always. Much appreciated.

Truly amazing and beautiful. "For everything there is something" spoke with wisdom and care. Lovely tribute to Bishop and yet so full of information.
Good luck in the comp.

Thank you, Wally!  It's a non-entry because I am co-host.  We enter because we love the poets we feature - also to show we're willing to do what we request of others.

Looking forward to you sliding in right under the time limit. LOL!

I'm doing a writing marathon this weekend. Gotta refresh on some of those poets before I enter though, ya'll keep raising the bar!

It is SO HARD to select only two. I am struggling over the second choice.  It's almost impossible, isn't it?

I cant believe its been a whole year since we studied Elizabeth Bishop, I've learned so much since then..
This brought me back to remembering her uncomplicated style with its descriptive beauty and tone, a challenge to emulate but you did a great job with her subtleties..
im working on a couple more pieces for the female challenge.

Thanks, PR.  Bishop is definitely one of those poets I connected with on an internal and inspirational level.  Her observatory nature resonated within me because observing is something I spend a great deal of time doing, be it people or nature.  Studying her taught me how to express those observations in simplistic terms ( I hope, anyway ).  

I am having such difficulty trying to decide who my second entry will be. I am torn between three in particular. I cannot wait to see your entries. You always work hard to nail the essence of whomever you study.

There is a quote by Mary Oliver about how poetry should be simply written, that seems to be a good approach for readership,  going by her, I love her style..
I know what you mean about it being hard to pick a poet to tribute, I had a few I want to go back to, but I'm sort of leaning towards the ones that are still fresh in my mind..

Thank you, Sky. That is a beautiful comment to log into this morning.  Bishop is very special to me, so that I may have captured and conveyed some of how she makes me feel to another person is a gift knowing.

Thank you for sharing that.

<3

...for everything there is something....
I will let Clewluss know that.
Far better than Passionflower
are this poem by Ahavati

Thank you, Rabbit Rabbit.  

I liked your leaved-lips.

When I read this poem ages ago, I didn't think I had anything useful to say.

I still don't. But it's burrowed in and every once in a while since then I find myself thinking about it (specifically the last 2 stanzas). Maybe that's testament enough to the writing.

Indeed it is, Gonzalo. Thank you very much.