Letters to My Dom pt1
This is the first part of ongoing letters and journal entries of a new besotted submissive. She is stumbling along trying to find her way.
Why is submission such a dirty word? The art of submission is a beautiful thing. A thing of ultimate trust and loyalty between two people.
I am completely intrigued with D/s relationships. I think it's because I love pleasing. I catch myself fantasizing about it all the time.
I'm sure part of the reason is from having a child go through an illness. Of having no control whatsoever. Overwhelmed with the frustration of being totally incapable of changing the situation. I almost burn myself out subconsciously. Always trying to find away to make things better.
Being tired of the constant overthinking. I want to be given a task that I can achieve. And I can excell at. That I can perform and generate pleasure and joy for someone else as well as myself.
The other possible reason is being partnered for a very long time with one that is in a constant state of contentment. I am thankful because that is a good quality in a mate. To a point. Believe it or not there is such a thing as too content. Of over praising no matter what the situation. It becomes hollow.
And I crave deep conversations ( the kind with spoken words and with silent flesh-to-flesh communication ) Deep thoughts, deep desires and ultimately deep penetration!
I have no doubt that my "love language" is "words of affirmation". I need to hear when I'm doing something right or wrong. Maybe it is that I need a place to be vulnerable. Let my guard down. I read something recently and it resonated with me. "Even teachers need to be taught". I'm aware of how prideful that sounds. But I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut and getting no where with this fantasy of mine!
I crave that confidence that an assertive man exudes. Most men will tell you that confidence is something they lack. But the confidence I seek is his confidence in my submission to him. I want to make him see how splended he really is by being his good girl. My desire for him only grows.
I hunger for his knowledge. For the act of being taught in and of itself. I crave to be the student. The idea of being subservient to a strong intelligent man whole heartedly drives me wild! To please him in a way no other could.
To transform before his very eyes from sex goddess to HIS little girl.
That shit drives me bat shit crazy!
I am very sensative about my neck. It is an automatic reflex to dig my chin into my chest when someone goes for my neck. Kisses there aren't allowed simply because I can't tolerate it.
I can honestly say that I have never had sex with someone I didn't trust. But I have NEVER been able to throw my head back and expose my neck to my lover. But that is my ultimate fantasy.
To find someone that I trust that way. Someone that will fully appreciate the gesture. To grasp the magnitude of the act.
To have a super strong woman reclining supine at his feet looking up at him with animalistic hunger. Clothed only in her panties and her desire to please him! Perfect lips parted, panting heavily. Her brown eyes slowly closing as she tilts her head back INVOLUNTARILY! Her body's automatic response to the unbridled, free running desire that is ripping through her. Her only purpose in the moment is making him happy.
I believe this "powerplay" if you will, will open up sexual doors that will lead me, to a whole new world. And it's way past time I started down my path of discovery.
Thus my journey begins...
he is already here.
his presence has instilled a compulsion to write this.
he is watching from afar
If you are out there Daddy, I hope this pleases you. 💋