deepundergroundpoetry.com

Long Exhale on a Cloud

the tightness settles into my eyes    
gauzy, jewel-toned shades      
float down to cover my mind      
satin pillows under my head      
chest expands to blow      
the sultry, ancient incense      
from my torched, heavy breath      
     
my hazy soul sighs
long exhale on a cloud
all my pieces draw inward
naked and exposed fully,
my critical eye softens
I see beauty in the rolling landscape;
scars create striking topography,
pleading with desire
for your curious explorations,
the ones I shied away from
when last you dared to wander,
your fingers leaving
the safety of the markers
clearly laid along the path
     
surrounded by the lush kingdom,
my fantasy conquered
I dive from the platform
built of crushing expectations;
responsibility that feels
so much like
an anchor to a time and place
I never meant to stay
my soul was made to soar
and ever since I was confined,
caged with the finest shackles
I can’t seem
to get my wings to remember
how to fly,
so I plummet instead
     
the cold of the deep
startling my chest
momentary panic
I’m in too deep
it’s way too fast;
no going back now
   
stretching my limbs,
I swim downward
into the dark
where all my beasties play
I have no fear of them here
after all, aren’t the lot of us
just misunderstood monsters?
I belong to them
their devotion to me complete      
allowed to be my whole self
in this blank space,      
all of these ominous shapes
are my most intimate partners;
they will bare their teeth
and nip my skin,
bringing blood to the water
until I’m surrounded
by my own horror
     
but I will calm them,
once again
with my practiced, healing hands -
light forged of sharp, shiny trauma
melted into the dull bone-ache
of the social awkward’s fallout
the metallic tang of active contrition,
and so much tailspinning
   
my fingertips glide slowly
along their slimy sides
and when they have been soothed,
my magnificent leviathans
retreat slowly downward
to the abyss -
a place I can’t follow;
(not after that one time)
I was nearly consumed
staring after them,
suspended between
sun-dappled waves
and icy cold midnight,
I wait in limbo
until I can’t see their shadows
before heading back
to my sun-drenched palace
to play
Written by LunaGreyhawk
Published | Edited 7th Oct 2019
Author's Note
Inspired by conversation with a friend.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10 reading list entries 4
comments 16 reads 458
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:45pm by Ahavati
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:39pm by nightbirdblue
COMPETITIONS
Today 1:05pm by Grace
COMPETITIONS
Today 1:04pm by Grace