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Long Exhale on a Cloud

the tightness settles into my eyes  
gauzy, jewel-toned shades † † †
float down to cover my mind † † †
satin pillows under my head † †  
chest expands to blow † † †
the sultry, ancient incense † † †
from my torched, heavy breath † †  
† † †
my hazy soul sighs
long exhale on a cloud
all my pieces draw inward
naked and exposed fully,
my critical eye softens
I see beauty in the rolling landscape;
scars create striking topography,
pleading with desire
for your curious explorations,
the ones I shied away from
when last you dared to wander,
your fingers leaving
the safety of the markers
clearly laid along the path
† † †
surrounded by the lush kingdom,
my fantasy conquered
I dive from the platform
built of crushing expectations;
responsibility that feels
so much like
an anchor to a time and place
I never meant to stay
my soul was made to soar
and ever since I was confined,
caged with the finest shackles
I canít seem
to get my wings to remember
how to fly,
so I plummet instead
† † †
the cold of the deep
startling my chest
momentary panic
Iím in too deep
itís way too fast;
no going back now
†  
stretching my limbs,
I swim downward
into the dark
where all my beasties play
I have no fear of them here
after all, arenít the lot of us
just misunderstood monsters?
I belong to them
their devotion to me complete † †  
allowed to be my whole self
in this blank space, † † †
all of these ominous shapes
are my most intimate partners;
they will bare their teeth
and nip my skin,
bringing blood to the water
until Iím surrounded
by my own horror
† † †
but I will calm them,
once again
with my practiced, healing hands -
light forged of sharp, shiny trauma
melted into the dull bone-ache
of the social awkwardís fallout
the metallic tang of active contrition,
and so much tailspinning
†  
my fingertips glide slowly
along their slimy sides
and when they have been soothed,
my magnificent leviathans
retreat slowly downward
to the abyss -
a place I canít follow;
(not after that one time)
I was nearly consumed
staring after them,
suspended between
sun-dappled waves
and icy cold midnight,
I wait in limbo
until I canít see their shadows
before heading back
to my sun-drenched palace
to play
LunaGreyhawk
Written by LunaGreyhawk
Published | Edited 7th Oct 2019
Author's Note
Inspired by conversation with a friend.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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LokiOfLiterati DanielChristensen DCLXVI_1989 EdibleWords
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