Long Exhale on a Cloud

the tightness settles into my eyes  
gauzy, jewel-toned shades † † †
float down to cover my mind † † †
satin pillows under my head † †  
chest expands to blow † † †
the sultry, ancient incense † † †
from my torched, heavy breath † †  
† † †
my hazy soul sighs
long exhale on a cloud
all my pieces draw inward
naked and exposed fully,
my critical eye softens
I see beauty in the rolling landscape;
scars create striking topography,
pleading with desire
for your curious explorations,
the ones I shied away from
when last you dared to wander,
your fingers leaving
the safety of the markers
clearly laid along the path
† † †
surrounded by the lush kingdom,
my fantasy conquered
I dive from the platform
built of crushing expectations;
responsibility that feels
so much like
an anchor to a time and place
I never meant to stay
my soul was made to soar
and ever since I was confined,
caged with the finest shackles
I canít seem
to get my wings to remember
how to fly,
so I plummet instead
† † †
the cold of the deep
startling my chest
momentary panic
Iím in too deep
itís way too fast;
no going back now
stretching my limbs,
I swim downward
into the dark
where all my beasties play
I have no fear of them here
after all, arenít the lot of us
just misunderstood monsters?
I belong to them
their devotion to me complete † †  
allowed to be my whole self
in this blank space, † † †
all of these ominous shapes
are my most intimate partners;
they will bare their teeth
and nip my skin,
bringing blood to the water
until Iím surrounded
by my own horror
† † †
but I will calm them,
once again
with my practiced, healing hands -
light forged of sharp, shiny trauma
melted into the dull bone-ache
of the social awkwardís fallout
the metallic tang of active contrition,
and so much tailspinning
my fingertips glide slowly
along their slimy sides
and when they have been soothed,
my magnificent leviathans
retreat slowly downward
to the abyss -
a place I canít follow;
(not after that one time)
I was nearly consumed
staring after them,
suspended between
sun-dappled waves
and icy cold midnight,
I wait in limbo
until I canít see their shadows
before heading back
to my sun-drenched palace
to play
Written by LunaGreyhawk
Published | Edited 7th Oct 2019
Author's Note
Inspired by conversation with a friend.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9 reading list entries 4
comments 14 reads 350
LokiOfLiterati DanielChristensen DCLXVI_1989 EdibleWords
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
Today 2:49pm by Ahavati
Today 2:43pm by slipalong
Today 2:28pm by lepperochan
Today 2:27pm by JohnnyBlaze
Today 2:23pm by LilDragonFly