deepundergroundpoetry.com
The City Square
a blast of heat
summer light
pedestrians crowd the city streets
shoppers, tourists
taxis, buses
a double crossing
further on lies a private square
protected by iron railings and metal spikes
residents rest on a central lawn
on this final day of British summer
summer light
pedestrians crowd the city streets
shoppers, tourists
taxis, buses
a double crossing
further on lies a private square
protected by iron railings and metal spikes
residents rest on a central lawn
on this final day of British summer
Published 21st Sep 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 6
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The author encourages honest critique.
21st Sep 2019 11:44pm
Totally awesome write Lozzamus. I had the feeling of being there.
regards ,
buddhakitty
regards ,
buddhakitty
22nd Sep 2019 10:16pm
21st Sep 2019 11:52pm
Always enjoy your snapshots, Lozzamus. This simple observation is the technically best yet.
The City Square
a blast of heat
summer light
pedestrians crowd [the] city streets
shoppers, tourists
taxis, buses
a double crossing
further on [lies] a private square
protected by iron railings and metal spikes
residents rest on a central lawn
[on] this final day of British summer
I only recommend removing the bracketed as extraneous. Ask yourself when reading aloud if they are really needed.
The City Square
a blast of heat
summer light
pedestrians crowd [the] city streets
shoppers, tourists
taxis, buses
a double crossing
further on [lies] a private square
protected by iron railings and metal spikes
residents rest on a central lawn
[on] this final day of British summer
I only recommend removing the bracketed as extraneous. Ask yourself when reading aloud if they are really needed.
22nd Sep 2019 10:18pm
22nd Sep 2019 11:42pm
Your visuals always leave nothing to the imagination L...great write man.
Cheers...Harry
Cheers...Harry
23rd Sep 2019 9:49pm
