Image for the poem Chemical State of Mind

Chemical State of Mind

 “I don’t work, I don’t fuck only eat and rarely shit
That’s why this year I’m on my third selfish-ass bitch,
 “The life I live they truly hate it
Now grandma’s giving me an enema, because I’m constipated,

 “The chemo for the cancer is eating me alive
Couldn’t make it to the bathroom now shit is running down my thighs,
 “Embarrassed and words of comfort-I don’t want to hear it
Because my soul is hurt, sprinkled with a shattered spirit,

 “Soiled clothes on the floor, shitty rag in the sink
Asshole naked on the toilet as I start to think,
 “About some of my relatives who had this sickness
Most-I was at their bedside as the final living witness,
 “Flashing back to the other day connected to an IV
Chills creeping through my body while watching TV,
 “The hematologist nurse gives me a blanket, but I’m still cold
She has a nice fat ass to be sixty years old,

 “Old Charlie next to me always flirts with her
But she frowns at his advances, like she got served bad liquor,
 “Listening to him talking shit puts me too sleep
I feel when my eyes close I automatically weep,

 “The constant drip is its own form of a tic-toc
A nightmare of my dreams that never stop,
 “One IV bag yellow the other bag blue
It will help with the cancer, but my healthy organs are through,

 “Hard to get comfortable when death feels like it’s creeping
Knowing my treatment is over when the IV machine starts beeping,
 “Followed by the intense pain of the needle withdrawn from my port
Definitely needed, because the chemo intake my veins couldn’t support,

 “Everytime it’s over I feel like a victim of chemical rape
But I endure with determination never to ever break,
 “Because to me giving up is like begging on your knees
And with my last breathe I will fight this deadly disease”.
Written by CasketSharpe
Author's Note
To those going through this process. Keep your head up and stay strong.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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