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Convo with mom

My mother told me we needed to talk today
Cuz ever since the day I lost everything I havnt been the same
But who would be? I said it's probably cuz I learned from my past mistakes and I can finally tell the difference between who's real and who's fake it's crazy cuz these days your best friend will probably be the one to betray you she said but I raised you to love thou neighbor. But just cuz their grass is always greener on top over there doesn't mean they don't have bodies buried and starting to rot underneath their soil they might look good on the outside but inside their heart is spoiled and I know this by experience with them see that's why I don't have friends cuz this terminology that we seem to believe in just doesn't seem to fit in the timeline of this generation I was conceived in. Yeah we koo they wanna be my friend on the weekend but as soon as I turn my back that's when the floorboards get to creaking and the rats start creepin and everyone starts speaking like the woman do about the pastor's wife as soon as he starts preaching at church on the wekends. But were all good people right? See these are the things that happen to me daily and no it don't get better as much as I been praying but even the devil was a angel once so don't tell me I'm being paranoid cuz I don't know who to trust and if you raised me then why don't I know the meaning of love huh? You just want me to be cautious while taking chances and X-ing out all my losses you tell me be strong but now your saying I'm heartless you tell me to embrace all my flaws so that I can be flawless but fuck this see mama what if I told you I got this cuz while everyone else is living reckless searching for approval through validation with applications denied never getting accepted I'll be at home minding my own business thankful just to be alive. Cuz you see statistics don't lie every second 1.8 people die 106 per minute and over 6,000 per hour and the truth is we don't have the power to change that the time we have now is precious despite all of my stressin and sleepless nights keepin me restless I'm still well aware that I'm blessed to be here. I see my kids struggling to find approval like who has more followers and likes but who cares about that anyways Hitler had millions Jesus had 12 the amount you have doesn't make you better than anyone else since I was young I went through life doing the same thing every day while hating it but doing it anyway. Working two jobs with minimum pay just to get by barely making enough for us to survive. But why? So I could be abused and manipulated while my kids were raised to hate me? So ya mom a few things changed but it's a good thing cuz the person I once was really aint me and the person im becoming today is who I'm supposed to be take it or leave it but whoever gets in my way I'll choose to love from a distance and I hope you do the same thing. She looked at me and said how is living like this any better for you? Shutting everyone out cuz the shit that you Been through I said not one fucking person ever wanted to see me shine so why the fuck should I have faith in mankind when their jealousy is so easy to see like my fucking tan line but see mama some of you been in the sun for way to long. So am I wrong am I just too deep in my thoughts is this not a representation of a vivid illustration of what happens when you let someone you love in on your team? Or is this just all a bad dream? In this picture all I can see is me all I can feel is me just like everyone else that's why we always gotta stop and take a selfie so if it doesn't concern me then it doesn't concern us and we got gasoline bridges that are ready to burn trust we want equality for everyone but everyone ain't for everyone cuz when your down and out there's never anyone to help pick you up to help Carrie just one of your problems but that's kinda ironic cuz when you die it takes 6 people to help Carrie one but amongst everyone nobody wants to be that very one so If I die today I don't want No one liking my pictures sharing my statuses saying I'm sad and shit pretending to miss me cuz when I was here day to day you didn't give a shit about me now you actin all fake like you can't forget about me and that's just being real
Spokentruth143
Written by Spokentruth143 (Sarah Flores)
Published
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