deepundergroundpoetry.com
You Have No Clue
I can't breath under
All your lies
I can't feel your love
Though all your hate
Im not having fun
Being played
By your mind games
I don't feel wanted
Or protected
By my father
You have no clue
How to treat
Your daughter
You'll never comprehend
The language
My heart speaks
My heart is not
A dish
You can serve for
Everyone to feast
If only my
Eyes could actually
Scream
Then maybe
You could feel
My piercing pain
With every dagger
You throw at me
Wearing a smirk
On your face
©️2019 kandicejohnson
All rights reserved. All materials contained are not to be used/ reproduced/ copied/ edited/ published/ transmitted/ borrowed/ duplicated/ printed/ downloaded/ uploaded in any way without my express written permission. Feel free to contact me if you so wish to use my work.
All your lies
I can't feel your love
Though all your hate
Im not having fun
Being played
By your mind games
I don't feel wanted
Or protected
By my father
You have no clue
How to treat
Your daughter
You'll never comprehend
The language
My heart speaks
My heart is not
A dish
You can serve for
Everyone to feast
If only my
Eyes could actually
Scream
Then maybe
You could feel
My piercing pain
With every dagger
You throw at me
Wearing a smirk
On your face
©️2019 kandicejohnson
All rights reserved. All materials contained are not to be used/ reproduced/ copied/ edited/ published/ transmitted/ borrowed/ duplicated/ printed/ downloaded/ uploaded in any way without my express written permission. Feel free to contact me if you so wish to use my work.
Published 17th Sep 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
17th Sep 2019 6:12pm
I will never understand how a father and his child come to such a place. Not calling you wrong or a liar more i guess with that ive always been fortunate that are bond is strong. I wish i knew what to say to make this a blissful moment to a peaceful rekindling of child and parent but all i can say is search and if cant be found then one must severe the tie. Sometimes better to love from a distance then to hate up close.
He’s a covert psychopath narcissist.
Only I did not know this (his) form of vile abuse existed in such a person. Especially a parent. Up until recently when I began researching his behavior. Unfortunately there are really no psych meds for him to be normal.
I’ve always known he was a narcissist. It was always about him. After he had his stroke three years ago is when he changed for the worst. He became a covert psychopath with no conscience that knew no boundaries. Who discovered a power which has became a thirst and a lust for controlling the lives and minds of others including his own child no matter how vile.
Yes, it’s a grotesque and twisted game of chess he enjoys playing with humans as the game pieces.
But he is my father. And I love him more than my very breath.
He has reached stage 4 with psoriasis of the liver and recently diagnosed with liver cancer and last wk informed his chances are slim to none he live long enough to receive a donor.
With that being said, he at first became my care taker after I woke up from a 2month coma and released from hospital into his care two and a half years ago. Then I became his care taker.
It’s quite difficult to turn my back and walk away now.
Again my father has not always been this way. Nor has he ever treated me this way. It hurts like hell. Especially when not deserving. I refuse to fight abuse with abuse. To me that’s immoral and counterproductive.
The only thing I know to do to release my pain is in the form of poetry.
I am the Wreckage and poetry has become my Lighthouse in my Life’s Storm.
Only I did not know this (his) form of vile abuse existed in such a person. Especially a parent. Up until recently when I began researching his behavior. Unfortunately there are really no psych meds for him to be normal.
I’ve always known he was a narcissist. It was always about him. After he had his stroke three years ago is when he changed for the worst. He became a covert psychopath with no conscience that knew no boundaries. Who discovered a power which has became a thirst and a lust for controlling the lives and minds of others including his own child no matter how vile.
Yes, it’s a grotesque and twisted game of chess he enjoys playing with humans as the game pieces.
But he is my father. And I love him more than my very breath.
He has reached stage 4 with psoriasis of the liver and recently diagnosed with liver cancer and last wk informed his chances are slim to none he live long enough to receive a donor.
With that being said, he at first became my care taker after I woke up from a 2month coma and released from hospital into his care two and a half years ago. Then I became his care taker.
It’s quite difficult to turn my back and walk away now.
Again my father has not always been this way. Nor has he ever treated me this way. It hurts like hell. Especially when not deserving. I refuse to fight abuse with abuse. To me that’s immoral and counterproductive.
The only thing I know to do to release my pain is in the form of poetry.
I am the Wreckage and poetry has become my Lighthouse in my Life’s Storm.
17th Sep 2019 11:03pm
one powerful write ------- what is you need to fight with love even if wish not to
or fine what change his love for the family that went awry
or fine what change his love for the family that went awry
