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Fucked Fairytales 2

 

As the Ugly Duckling swam around  
the others yelled out “FREAK!”  
"Look at his horrid neck" They laughed  
"Look at his stupid beak"  
But as time went by that ugly duckling  
grew into a big swan  
Who beat the shit out of those ducks  
With his superior brawn  
 
 
 
When the Little Billy Goat Gruff  
went out for a stroll  
Out from under a foot bridge  
jumped an angry troll  
"This is my bridge you little shit  
you're not allowed to cross!"  
So the little goat got out a hammer  
and nailed the troll to a cross  
 
                                        
 
The Three Little Pigs ran and hid  
inside the house of bricks  
“You'll never get us in here wolf!  
so you can suck our dicks!"  
So the Big Bad Wolf blew on the house  
which caused it to start shakin'  
And when it fell down he caught the pigs  
and turned 'em into bacon  
 
 
 
Thumbelina cried  
'cos she was kidnapped by a toad  
Who kept her as a prisoner  
in his slimy abode  
But she escaped with a fairy prince  
Who’s heart was brave yet tender    
But their marriage didn't last because  
he turned out to be a bender  
 
 
 
When the shoemaker woke up in the morning  
he couldn't believe his eyes.  
There were pairs of boots and shoes made  
in every style and size.  
When he checked the CCTV  
he saw that it was elves  
Who had crafted all the footwear  
that was sitting on his shelves  
So the next night when they came back  
he caught them in a cage  
And forced them to work in his sweatshop  
without paying them a wage  
 
 
 
When the Emperor rolled down the street  
To show off his new threads    
He was swiftly arrested  
by two undercover feds  
"What’s the meaning of this!!"  
The Emperor did yell  
"Just for this you both shall rot  
in a dungeon cell!"  
Cop said "Sir, you're being arrested  
for exposing yourself to a minor."                                                                                  
"And being in a public place  
with an unkempt mangina."  
 
 
 
 
 
 
RexDurkin
Written by RexDurkin
Published | Edited 6th Sep 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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