5 Minutes

Just 5 more minutes is all I need
To tell you the things I never did
To go back to that moment
You asked for my time but I refused
Not out of hatred nor ignorance
Simply out due to busy life
Life that was about to change

If I had just those 5 minutes
Maybe you would still be here
Maybe I could have talked you down
To this day its still unclear

But just 5 more minutes
I could have at least had said
Those 3 little words
We all like to hear

In 5 Minutes just who knows
What could have been done
Before you placed that gun
To your chest so you could be done

5 minutes could it have changed
The burning memory left in my brain
The things I seen, on that terrible day
The splatter, the blood
Your body where it laid
There on the ground the gun lay
As anger kicks in
And yet I am in total disarray

Your notes you left
They did not say
What made you decide
To be done on this day
To our family you left
A lot of hurt and dismay
Just why did you leave us in such a way

35 years now
Gone by so fast
But the sights you left
Forever they will last
Nights come and go
But they never leave
I think always
Just why did you leave

It took years to forgive what you done
The coward way out and no way to be undone
But you did leave me with a lesson that I soon did learn
To stress of tomorrow
Well it brings no worth
I live for today and I do to the fullest
No matter the problem
How big or small
I think positive , and I over come it all
For years I have had to this
Without your advice
No one to turn to
To talk to once or twice
No clear direction, no help on the way
So alone I have conquered
What you put us through that day

Father thanks for the lesson
That you left me with on that day
But it will never heal the reason
Why I did not give you 5 minutes that day

So in this 5 minutes
Let me be clear and say
I love you Dad
Even though you left us on that day
I know you have watched down
Each and every day
I have done my best
To carry on your name each day
I hold my head high
But its that 5 minutes sometimes
That just makes me frown

I close in say to you
I forgive you this day
But I still miss you every day
Till we meet again on the other side of the gates
Just know that I love you each and every day
I am sorry I did not give you time that day
And hope you have forgave

If I had choice , a wish to come true
It would be turn back the clock
Give you just 5 minutes on that day.

Love You Dad