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Reflecting count down to sleep

Reflecting as i begin my push
Is this where i need to be
My mind never at rest
It goes from my three angels
To the demons lurking deep

I sit under this bridge
Third bottle of scotch
So itll be accompanied by a fourth
Water caping the rocks below
Do i keep pondering the effects of it

Images of men ive killed pass my mind
Did they deserve it
Huh did i not
I go home to this angel
Blood stained hands

Burn going across my abs reminder
Bullet wounds healed in my legs
My body is almost a rendeered scar
Deep line in my kneck that was mine
So much has tryed to end what i am

Maybe somewhere down inside i am a beast
Start my walk home
Bottle number five from my bag
Yet an angel awaits at home
Two cherubs sleeping in peace

Yet im unable to rest
Scar on my shoulder newest contraption
It delivers the poison thats my cure
Havent been able to eat
Feels it eats me back

Feverish sweats break out
Body flushing red
Burn like sores forming on my back
Each breath harder to swallow
Ive lost little over two stones since they first gave the poison that cures

My wife has started to notice
Only so much i can keep hid
Ive maintained most of my exercise
But the strength and stamina dying
Since they first pulled the trigger
I seem to fade in and out not sure

Am i blinding out
Did i faint standing
Im not even sure how much time has lapsed
Each breath feels as though they shred themselves
Coughing blood again

Then i see the scars on my legs
My leg my back tattered
My grandmother introduced me to a nine tail cat
I remember the burn the feeling
I remember the flesh torn

I remember her burning them to cauterize
I remember everything
Then i look to the skies
You trust me far to much

Cross x scar in my side
Kids of the neighborhoods
Proving they could shoot an indian with a arrow
Deep stab scar in my left shoulder
I guess my idigenous side returning favor to my white side

Born to be hated
No matter how i look im tore up
Inside and out mental and physical
Bottle six scotch no longer has a taste
If this is preperation god what hell am i going to

I go inside lay down next to my wife
The only peices of heaven ill know
I readjust the blankets keep her covered
Lay my head down
Six was my count til i could sleep again
Written by LiamReeduus (LiamReedus)
Published
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