Wishing My Life Away

Begging for a life in a time that’s not now,  
Forever and ever looking forward or back,  
Haunted by riots of inimical fantasies,  
Never ever realizing now.  
Waiting for that moment to replay,  
That one obsessively-evoked memory,  
From an age ago.  
Suffering a war that’s gone on so long,    
Where years and years of dreams have been consumed unknowingly,  
By my desensitized and blinded body,  
Thanks to my burdening army of toxic worries.  
Stumbling from one diminishing and distinguished moment to another,  
Each gloating a throbbing count down,  
Until they dissolve into the foggy horizon of my discarded memories,    
Like a forgotten shipwreck obscured under the blurry waters of living.    
Trying desperately to carve every moment into my own chosen fate,    
Into my collection of anticipated dreams,  
Just fortifying my artificial array of misshapen memories.  
Hating myself for my regrets,    
Unable to remould those junctures of mistake,  
That had the potential to materialise into their respective dreams.    
Chasing blindly the chance to recreate those that did,    
While more and more of my life’s climaxes echo past,    
That too become another piece of scrap,  
In the junkyard of my thoughts.  
Crippling my consciousness with repentance,  
Not realizing all it would take,  
to stop wishing my life away,    
Is to just live in the now.