deepundergroundpoetry.com

Forevermore

I have done very bad things to you. I hurt you. I wish I hadn't. I want to take these things back, but no matter how hard I wish, it can't be done. I ruined everything I had been working to get back. I know now more than ever, that I am the only true cause for everything that has happened to me in my life. I have made it so much harder than the way it was supposed to be. And now...now that I know this I should be able to stop...but I can't. I have known for much longer than I want to admit that I ruin everything good in my life. I know that it is only because I crave the attention. I can't stop though. I want so badly to love someone with everything that is me and I do....but I ruin it. He doesn't trust me and I know that...he has every right to, I'm his wife after all. I want to believe that it's because the first time I messed up I was given no punishment. He let it go...but that was only the first of many hearts I have broken. Many more have come after, I have broken people, all for the sake of trying to mend myself, trying to make them fix me...as if they could...as if they could somehow extinguish this fire that seems to eat away at me slowly. All I do is make them catch fire themselves. I watch it consume them. It used to bother me. I used to feel the guilt for doing these things...I feel nothing now. I want to be stronger than this. I want to stop the things I do, stop hurting the ones I love...but as long as my fire burns I am destined to hurt everyone who gets too close.
Written by XxmagickgirlxX
Published
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