When Will it happen?

Upon the stars that look so bright,
Lonely feelings that shattered amongst the stars.
I wonder when will I ever get there.
The place where said that people live there after death.

Will it be tomorrow?
Will it be the next week?
Will it be the next month?
Years? I can't bear that long enough.

This annoying feelings... Will it end after I disappear?
This reality... Will it end after I disappear?
Will all disappear after I pass away?

This questions have their answers,  yet I'm avoiding them
Am I a coward?
Am I a weakling?
Am I running away?

No, please don't come here...
Don't come near me...
Don't save me...

Everything is okay...  Things are burning at their own behavior and rights.
Everything is normal.

The tears that fell every night. It's all normal
The pain I bear every day. It's all normal.
There is no unnatural phenomen such as abnormality.


And dying to end everything is normal.
It's my normality.
Don't ruin it. Don't change it.
It hurts, but its normal.

Now, upon the stars I gaze every night with a desperate feeling and tears falling from my eyes.
Will there be someone to end my existence?
Or will I be the one to end myself?

When would the end come to me?
When will it happen?