Life....

Today I felt like reading some poetry
Something I find I rarely do these days
And I came across a poet
Who wrote about her pain and darkness
So effortlessly
 
Her lines truly touched me
I understood what she felt
Why she did some of the things she did
Even if that path wasn't exactly the same as mine
But, her lines took me back in time
To a young me dealing with a lot of pain
And finding ways to escape

I clicked on poem after poem of hers
And felt I had to subscribe to her
Just to read more
If by chance she dropped more lines
And to send her positive thoughts and help her

I tried to give words of encouragement
Hoping she would see and it would help
on the pieces I did read
Until those new lines came about

I looked at the dates of her most recent writes
It said 2016
Then I looked at her last log in
And my heart just sank
The last write she wrote
Was about how she died for 2 mins
But was brought back to life

But when I connected the dots and the times lines
I can't help but feel sadness
Bc it makes me think she succeeded
And took her own life
 
Had I been on this site sooner
Could I have somehow helped
It just reminded me of why I used to write
And read to just try and help people heal

It just breaks my heart
Bc while I don't truly know the reason for her absence
My gut feeling is making me think
Perhaps she succeeded and took her own life
My heart feels heavy
&
I didn't even know this sad, dark but awesome, talented writer

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