deepundergroundpoetry.com
Intrusive Thoughts
Blades of grass
dancing in the windswept plateau.
Passing breezes
they shall lacerate!
Trotting soles,
whom they shall scream unhappy thoughts to.
dancing in the windswept plateau.
Passing breezes
they shall lacerate!
Trotting soles,
whom they shall scream unhappy thoughts to.
Published 9th Aug 2019
| Edited 7th Oct 2019
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Aug 2019 11:18am
7th Oct 2019 6:36am
Your command of poetic flow is unquestionable. If I may venture a small suggestion, perhaps the last "to" in the last line could be dropped.
7th Oct 2019 10:54am
Why thank you! Dropping the “to” would make sense now that you pointed it out!
