Dog days of misfortune! Curses be fortune!
Sultry affliction beside the seaside’s beautiful fiction!
Shipwreck on the beach, for some a vacation of death!
This bottleneck constricted by the heat of my turtleneck.
Oh, I sweat in hope of the coming doom – so, so soon!
The catastrophe of lightning brings the agony of chastity!
So, to you my good beach goers, embrace the tragedy!