We Need To Talk

I got a text one day that said "we need to talk."
And my only response was "okay."
She said, "You don't love me do you?"
And I said "not in the way you want me to."
I said "I love you in the 'I'm afraid to lose you' way."
She said, "What do you mean?"
I told her that I have a real hard time facing my own feelings. Sometimes I mistake the type of love I feel for a person.
I love you, but not in the 'I want to be with you' way.
I love you in the 'I'm never letting go of you, so please stay' kind of way,
The 'let me comfort you and tell you everything's okay' way."
She said, "So you don't want me anymore?"
I said, "You've got this all wrong.
A long time ago, someone in which I held very dear
to me died, but some time before he did, he told me 'love is waiting on the other side of your greatest fear.'
He said, 'if you ever want to love again you will have to overcome that fear.'
You made me realize that I'm afraid to love.
My biggest fear is being afraid to love, so in order to conquer my fears, I want to love you.
I want to love you the right way though.
In the 'hey we need to talk' kind of way where at the very end,
I say 'you're right.'"
She said, "You don't understand what love really is do you?"
After that, she called me and asked the same question.
I said, "I'm trying my best, so I'm sorry if I can't be your boyfriend,
but I want to be your midnight text asking you if you're okay, or if I need to bring you chocolate ice cream
and a teddy bear the size of a person."
She laughed and it sounded like
a choir of Angels sang the
saddest song I'd ever heard, because I had heard that laugh before.
It's the "You're an idiot" laugh.
The "You'll never truly get me" laugh.
Commonly known as a courtesy laugh.
I asked her if she ever loved me and she said no, not really.
I asked "Why did you pretend to?"
She said, "Because I didn't want to be alone."
I told her, "I want to be here for you"
and she said
"You can't"
And then the last words I said before hanging up were
"You're right."