real-time

 
I'm not happy with a side of nightmares
I lie at night not facing my feelings
down a couple sleeping pills
saying bye to them...we'll talk later
 
I've hidden in fantasy
my emotions are out for blood  
they stalk me in Dreamtime
 
I'm wanted for crimes committed against my conscious  
my gentle heart weeps inconsolably
the chemical makeup of my brain is in mutiny  
 
all synapses are misfiring
causing a rift between body and soul
I don't know how to reconcile the two
 
I feel hopeless  
my mind controls--
where my poor spirit is headed
 
the spirit of kindness  
who lives within me is held, prisoner  
to the druggie I am
 
in real-time