deepundergroundpoetry.com
I bully me all of the time
I bully me all of the time
Like I‘m some kinda bitch
Face mask of muddy snot
Mouth full of bloody tears
Stop hit hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
Stop hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
I can’t stop, it feels good
The good kind of pain
So familiar and soothing
I don’t know how to stop
A raging version of me
My own disappointment
Smashed in the mirror
Mock me now punk
Stop hit hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
Stop hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
I can’t stop, it feels good
The good kind of pain
So familiar and soothing
I don’t know how to stop
Fist cracking mandible
Ears in humming waves
Red filter behind the eyes
Head split buzz
Stop hit hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
Stop hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
I can’t stop, it feels good
The good kind of pain
So familiar and soothing
I don’t know how to stop
Like I‘m some kinda bitch
Face mask of muddy snot
Mouth full of bloody tears
Stop hit hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
Stop hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
I can’t stop, it feels good
The good kind of pain
So familiar and soothing
I don’t know how to stop
A raging version of me
My own disappointment
Smashed in the mirror
Mock me now punk
Stop hit hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
Stop hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
I can’t stop, it feels good
The good kind of pain
So familiar and soothing
I don’t know how to stop
Fist cracking mandible
Ears in humming waves
Red filter behind the eyes
Head split buzz
Stop hit hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
Stop hitting yourself
Hit yourself harder
I can’t stop, it feels good
The good kind of pain
So familiar and soothing
I don’t know how to stop
Published 18th Jul 2019
Author's Note
how we rip ourselves apart with regret
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Jul 2019 00:04am
it's a horrible feeling, encapsulated with the repetition of "stop hitting yourself". i absolutely despised when people did that to me as a kid, but you're right, some of us can't stop, having brought it with us from before we grasped the concept of emotional debt. appreciate these sentiments on a page. thanks for the read.
27th Jul 2019 4:31am
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I hope to find some time to revise and improve this one. I almost deleted "hit" in the repeating line " stop hit hitting yourself" but after some consideration I decided that it reinforced the cyclic madness, like a misfiring engine or a scratched record.
