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Image for the poem The Red Door

The Red Door

When you look in the basement    
The deepest pits in your mind  
Thereís always that one door  
Where, if lucky, you never find †  
††  
Itís a deep red, old and grungy door †  
With claw marks down one side †  
Weeds are growing up the door frame †  
The atmosphere is electrified †  
† †
I havenít been down in ages †  
Thatís the darkest hole in my mind †  
A room of all of my trauma and hurt †  
Where the old me and new collide †  
† †
It felt like I was in there for months †  
Something I wasnít ready to faceó † †
It was inevitable and it was happening †  
But truly it helped get me to this place † †
† †
Just mere months ago, having seen it all †  
I stopped entering through that red door †  
I just didnít need to torture my self so †  
I stopped when I couldnít take it anymore †  
† †
But the insideís been warped over time †  
The foundation bricks all sag real low †  
But that big red light perched on the wall ó †  
It flickers with an almost ominous glow †  
† †
The more that I screamed and cried †  
No matter which way I fought back †  
My claw marks are etched in the stone †  
Fingers all bloodied from my last attack †  
†† †
One day, I woke up. Ah, I could see again †  
I looked outside and inhaled greedily †  
Why do I keep coming to this wretched place †  
Even though it always cost be so steeply? †  
† †
The place down in the basement † †
Itís always been my little sanctuary †  
I would hole up in this place in my mind †  
And beat down every last adversary †  
† †
But just last week, I took a chance †  
I finally stepped away from my torture zone †  
And I walked past that red door again †  
Without even glance and kept moving on †  
† †
They say time heals all wounds †  
But that time, I really valued myself †  
Instead of running to the red door †  
I move right by the ghost of my hell †  
† †
Itís a dark room lost forever in memory †  
But now Iím deep in my center Iíve found †  
The home I call my soul, happiness and being †  
It feels much better now Iím not underground †  
† †
My dark spirits are thriving down there †  
All shut up behind the heavy red doors †  
Theyíve really made a home for the place †  
Despite all the blood and carnage on the floor †  
† †
And when I stopped my visits into the beyond †  
I cut myself from all ties to that magnetic pull †  
Now I know if dared to open the big red door †  
Its gates into hell, but I wonít be fooled †  
† †
For my demons have no claim on me †  
And I wonít go opening the ominous door †  
No matter how much I think I deserve it †  
Iíve seen the terror, I donít need that anymore †  
† †
Iíve faced the sunlight all in naked truth †  
I made amends with the horror and darkness †  
I no longer fear the door or whatís inside †  
This piece of me hasnít made me heartless †  
† †
Donít hesitate if you find a big red door †  
We all have something we need to overcome †  
Youíll grow that much stronger if you only dare
Survival of the fittest, the weak will succumb
LivDiane
Written by LivDiane
Published
Author's Note
The room where all my demons hide.
May add more later, canít tell if Iím done yet.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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