It hurts slipping away (forgive me)

This feeling deep inside, my stomach
all knots and butterflies
perhaps, this not eating for a week
is what's gnawing at me literally.

How I miss you

This stress and anxiety eats me
a tiny morsel this day
huge bite the next night
soon to be nothing left

How I miss you

Darkness carries me
not even kicking, screaming
surely not willing
just paralysed, numb, broken

Forgive me (daddy's falling)

Would it, I able, see you tomorrow
Sorry little one, not this way
nor like this(wrecked)
Harpooned bleeding out


Can't even put into writing what happened, after you and your mother left.. Perhaps one day you might (what?)
read my words, ask daddy his thoughts(difficult)

Forgive me(daddy's fail(ed)(ings)(ures)


Sitting here in both metaphorical and
literal darkness
Weighing, heart against feather
Trying to balance my internal scales
no easy option presents itself
Both, just as hard to make
Little one.... Daddy never.. ever.. wants to hurt you, just wants what's best
These descions not taken lightly
weighed heavily, over many sleepless nights and anguished days

Forget me not beautiful one
look me up
we can sit, share your favourite milkshake
talk long into the evening about why
Daddy had to leave, at least for those years of your life

Know this my child
wherever you find yourself
you will at times fall, lose yourself
never forget, hope is a phone call away
and that true friends will pick you up
no matter how far away,
or how strange the hour