My Nightmare

Forgotten alone at night, my nightmare haunts me.      
     
It mocks me, littering my thoughts with mines, hungry for anxiety and worry.
It ruins me, spoiling my mind with webs, harvesting fear and doubt.          
It stalks me, torments me, threatens to sweep me with a surge of panic.        

Just one seed can blossom into an array of fret flowers.        
Just one thought can fork into an army of worries.          
       
Lifeless during the day, my nightmare plagues me.
       
It drowns me, suffocating me in a cold embrace, a haggard hug.        
It smothers me, tarnishes what left I have of my day, what left exists of my life.          
It hates me, not surrendering anything, vowing to leave nothing but a devastated and ravaged psychological battlefield that is soon to be my mind.        
How long until my mind is anything but that?          
How long until I’m nothing?          
       
My nightmare hates me.          
It feeds my demons. It crusades for my insanity.        
It just wants to end me.          
       
How is it always there, in the back of my mind, glowing?          
Even after extinguishing, it still throbs with heat, rallying its mob, rebuilding itself.        
A loop - a reoccurring nightmare.          
       
Catch its attacks. Arrest its numbers. Imprison them. Guard them.
Because it’s only so long before they burst out – only so long before I break.          
       
Please.          
Control my nightmare. Blow away my thundercloud.          
Show me bravery. Show me courage.          
Just notice me – ask me how I am, let me feel special.          
Teach me to shut down those thoughts.          
Explain how I keep check on him.     Because there’s only so much I can take, only so long I can firm.        
       
Please.        
Protect me from my dragon. Neutralise my enemy.        
Show me passion. Show me desire.          
Just let me feel at war – don’t shut me down, don’t try and help.          
Train me in the art of serenity.          
Tell me how I beat him.        
Because I can’t fight myself anymore, I just can’t.        
       
Please.    
Save me from my nightmare that is just myself, just my thoughts –          
I’m begging.