Outside my comfort zone
Getting lost in these happy go lucky
Where everyone is supposed to have
Plastered on smiles
I'm directed to greet every passerby
Ordered to be friendly way too fast.
I feel a sudden surge of hands grasping mine,
Everyone desperate to make eye contact
I just want to look the opposite way
Everyone desperate to say a positive word
When I have nothing to say, I stand frozen
It all sends my head spinning,
my body in shock
I'm not made to know everybody in the moment
I want to cry.
I'm trying to grasp hands and people's names
I'm forgetting all their names anyway
Feel like their making me into a fake
How can I know everyone in the spur of the moment?
Feeling a different energy spreading into mine,
Taking away my energy
Without my consent, too soon for comfort
Feeling misplaced, I just want to run and hide
Is it safe to go back to my seat?
I sit down, don't care, see others frown my way
Hiding into myself for safety
Back to my seat, upset!
Nevermind I'll just get up and leave!