VALUABLE

Healing is a process. It's not a simple thought process of move on and get over it. Healing by any other means other than loving yourself, by facing the pain that has afflicted you, can only be accomplished through whatever gets you through the day, mentally. Numbing yourself to not deal with an event, shows you have given yourself no value or you believe that your value lies within another's words.
That concept weaves itself into our subconscious and consciousness slowly and builds a comfort zone of "this is what I deserve" or the concept," I don't want help, I wouldn't want to burden anyone with my problems". We somehow excuse that behavior because it is all we know. It's such bullshit for me.
It's a long winding road, with obstacles and broken pieces we alone have to get through. Loving yourself must embody the primary first step.
I have PTSD. Wow, what a fucked up blanket statement diagnosis. Trauma is traumatic. A high speed ink stamp permanently injuring our most important organ. Our brain.
What people seem to forget is that trauma is an individual experience. So to blanket statement an individual that somehow we are all societies sociopaths, in itself is traumatic.
 Just because I grew up in a traumatic environment, did not create me into a monster. And, just because I was traumatized severely as an adult through no fault of my own, even throughout all the haters that told me, " Why were you there or why would you be so stupid", I say to them today, " Educate yourself on what part you have played in my own personal healing that did leangthen my road to recovery?"
I have been in counseling for 33 years. From the time I was very young, off and on. I have had brilliant counselors and some pretty shitty ones. I was fortunate enough to have had the ability to seek help. And the majority of it, on my own, alone and without family. Due to the fact that in my generation and breeding, it was an embarrassment and something that should never be discussed openly.
No matter how much political bullshit is spewed on the undervalued crises of mental health, be your own voice.
 You have no idea, to this very day, how many times I have heard the whispers,"  Did you know she's mentally ill," or Isn't it amazing how much she has accomplished?" and the one that broke my silence " It's so sad for such a beautiful woman." That for me was the final straw. As if because I was privileged enough to grow up with good genes, somehow that was more traumatic for me , than to someone who didn't. Seriously? To me those are societies true sociopaths. Those type of people mean nothing! And yet their comments are given value by ignorance. I would respectfully tell them to seek counseling. Because they were never part of the process of love, showing me that my spirit is highly valuable beyond what others perceive when they look on the outside of me as normal.
Yet to this day no one can explain to me what being normal is. And that's ok because I choose to love my kind of normal. But hey that's just me. I only know what I show.
I am no one to judge someone else's life experiences. And I am not defined by the accomplishments I have achieved. My worth lies within my core values and hopefully let someone else know," You are never alone."