Monotonous

I must look deeper into myself,
Past the egocentricity,
And into the lost eyes of Serendipity.
These words seem to melt onto the paper,
Like a violin chord.
It is the only redemption I can afford.
I have an earth-shattering ego and a plummeting self-esteem.
I blow chance after chance of any possible redeem.
It infuriates me, how it slips from my grasp.
I just want to latch on with iron fingers in an unforgiving wrench.
Then I’ll be able to revive a dead soul again and again,
And I can finally find a way out of this mess,
At least, until the end.

I don’t yearn for the childish angst anymore,
I don’t need the bullshit back-wit that ran my tempo,
And I don’t realization barely opaque.
I want a clear honest message,
Something that’ll explain my pitfalls.
Then I can find a new reason to write.
That’s all.