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deepundergroundpoetry.com

Bawdy Man Limericks 10.0

 
1.   The Accused
 
There was an old man from Bangkok  
Who was always flashing his cock
The playpark he tested
That got him arrested
And now he stands in the dock

 
2.      Blow
 
An old man from Kalamazoo
Paid a hooker, a blowjob to do
She took out her teeth
And sucked on his beef
Like an animal straight from the zoo

3.      Stretch
 
There was a young man from Nan King
Who was famous for public wanking
He pulled so long
Stretching his dong
It's now like a long piece of string

 
4.      Pastor
A young Baptist pastor called Buck
Who decided he did give a fuck
Without a doubt
He fucked her brains out
She now waddles just like a duck

5.      Priest
 
A Catholic priest from Hanoi  
Who was grooming a 12-year-old boy
The boy wasn’t silly
He cut off his willie
With a razor, he thwarted his ploy

6.      Dreamy
 
A young lad let out a scream
His pyjamas all covered in cream
He woke with a fright
His mom not in sight
Relieved it was just a wet dream

7.      Grandma
 
There once was a man from Nantucket
Anything with a pulse he would fuck it
His grandma said please
You can slip in with ease
My twat is the size of a bucket

 
8.      Virgin
 
A 40 years virgin called Sammy
Aske his sister to touch his salami
She gave it a stroke
Up his ass, she did poke
He came just like a tsunami

 
9.      Floppy
 
An impotent man not so juicy
At first base with his cousin called Lucy
His dick never worked
Despite how she jerked
He ended just eating her pussy

 
10.      BUM
 
A homeless beggar and bum
Woke up all covered in cum
There was lots of jizz
And it wasn’t his
Hiss asshole was red raw and numb

 
 
David_Macleod
Written by David_Macleod (David Macleod)
Published
Author's Note
sometimes you just gotta
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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