evolution of an aria

she stood there
fists tightly clenched
rocking hard from side to side
anger on the left
hurt on the right
with her stuck in the middle
completely at the mercy of that emotional tide
and still he turned & walked
leaving her in shambles

a l o n e

huddled defensively as storms blew in
and like a rag doll they tossed her
uncaring & listless
cast upon a lifeless shore
where she lay for many days
adding salt to the ocean
thinking of nothing but the pain
until a strange lethargy settled in
yet it was that very sense of unfeeling
that finally broke her leaden apathy
forcing her to fumble to her feet

I can lay here & slowly die
just call it quits
or I can get up & try

somewhere in her muted darkness
a tiny ember sputtered
flared & suddenly sparked
she felt something slowly growing
a fiery ball of burning white
consuming her from the inside
and she became defiant

I can do as I've always done
expect no more than I've always had
or I can let go
find my voice
and move on

months passed as she rewrote her descant
and from a safe distance
he watched
as she silently unraveled
and then unexpectedly blossomed
a day came when he returned
this time begging her
but the thing about growth
is its ever changing structure
sometimes what we loved
no longer fits as it once did

and she smiled
shook her head & replied
you left me
telling me I wasn’t enough
for a time, I actually believed it
unable to imagine a life without you
and I grieved
until one day I discovered…

and here she took a deep shuddering breath
looked him square in the eye

...I wasn’t enough for me either
so I took a look deep inside
found my direction
and flew!
do you know…
I loved it!
learning the joy of climbing mountains
just to witness the view
breathless & aching
already ready to ascend another
and, baby, I grew!
only then did you deem me worthy
do you not understand?
without you…
I found me!

your place in my heart remains
like an echo
of a beautiful refrain
but that song has long since ended
you need to do what I had to do
thank you for the thought
and for the shove
I wouldn’t be here without it
but it’s time for you
to rewrite your own tune

Written by FromTheAsh
Author's Note
Copyright © 2019 FromTheAsh. All Rights Reserved
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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