As much as I deny this feeling, it feels like I've been making my way back to you my whole entire life, and I'm learning to understand that we can only flourish aubade of surrender; you with your courage, and me with a messy mind full of memories that emerge like patchwork, and my heart aches to be with you, to seal our unspoken wounds.
I hope to hold you close and kiss your gorgeous eyelids as we fall to pieces in moments of quiet introspect where words don't come between us as they draw us ever so closely.
Those, are the silent moments in which we'll share our vulnerability because you & I are very much alike, so much so that you could be the mirror like imagery to my very own heart & soul as we once shared those lingering deep glances, the ones that spoke of our hunger for one another in our eyes before I found myself pacified by the weight of your bare flesh upon me.
Even then I knew that I was nothing more than the lever you used to unleash yourself upon, and I still nestled into you and held you close to me when you turned your back on me after we were done feasting upon each other like ravenous wolves.
Beyond the pain there is beauty in your heart & soul, and I've tasted a smidgen on your lips once upon a time, the same lips that trailed my nape as you plunged into me whilst I clung to you as if you were a balustrade holding me up in my moment of need as I was hiding behind enemy lines battling my own internal wars as the narratives spill from me oceanically; fluidly and vastly in nature and the letters of your name are still etched in places that no one knows, save us.
Life, really made a mess of us during our more formative years but we're both still here, both still persevering and perhaps we could learn to trust one another and hold each other gently like we both need to be held as we temper the raging wars that unfold in our veins like lightning strikes as we seek to understand the sheer depths that exist within each of us.
I long to wander those places to familiarise myself with you, whilst walking in fields of wildflowers so I might know the depths of you like I yearn to know you, with your lips pressed against my soft cerise lips as we share our breath with one another and our hearts become audible in the pulsation.
It was always you that I looked for until you made us history without ever truly fathoming that history is equivalent to a platform that is still fertile to seed upon, awaiting Spring and the harvesting that that entails as we both grow wings made from the fire that'll enable us to fly together.