Aerobics With Sally

Aerobics With Sally
 
   One evening Sonja and I are inside the aerobics studio. “Fight me, John. Fight me” lilts Sally the dance therapist. She waves me into her with her hands. Lights flash red. I sidekick at her and pull just before contact. She smiles and urges me on. My karate thrust of the foot toward her breasts pumps to the beat of the music. The glint in her eye sparks my libido.
     The class ends and the sweaty people disperse. My sweetheart Sonja and I linger in the room. We face Sally who stands resolute.
     A strange sensation erupts in me. I tell Sally that my legs are pulling apart. She wants to go with this phenomenon.  I let my legs split while Sally holds my thighs. My primal moan grows with the widening spread of my legs. Sally grips my upper hind limbs with womanly strength. Energy surges from my schism. Sonja watches and says “Oh my God!” The crack in my being finally closes in exquisite pleasure.
     Sonja says, “Look, you’ve coaxed him to stretch into a source of shame for a male during yoga class.”
     Sally says, “Girl, he sure looks like he’s shaping up.”
   Sonja replies, “He is toning up into a fine young man.”
     Sally says, “He has grown in spurts before our very eyes.”
     Sonja replies, “Enough to make any snake proud.”
     Sonja says, “His panting is a sure sign of his endorphin rush.”
     Sally says, “Let’s do a breathing exercise, John. I’ll set your pace with some kissy face.”
     Sally’s lipstick paints my cheeks like an autumn blaze. Her fingers untie the knot of my sweatpants which she says, “Binds you like a marriage.” The waistband is held up only by the hook of my tent pole. My modesty hangs by a thread, but a robust one. Her fingertips graze me with the calculus of her cunning.
     Sally says, “Lookie there. His pinky is making its debut appearance here. See it poking out of his undies. Maybe it will perform for us.”
     Sonja replies, “Don’t demote it to a little finger. It is at least a thumb.”
     Sally says, “I’ll use his drawstring for a ribbon to tie it into a bow as a gift just for you, my Sonja.”
     Sonja answers, “Christmas was never this fun. With a summit that majestic the rest of his purple peak has me desirous of more than a peek.”
     Finally, I overcome my stage fright. “Sonja, I won’t give a spoiler. Besides, it might sound braggadocious if I did. My self-interest could inspire your disbelief.”
     Sonja replies, “Yes and I’m not solely a sybarite though I do possess that quality. Sally, you were a matchmaker.” Sally winks.  
     Sonja says, “John, let me hear you brag about your prowess on the golf course which you’ve divulged on occasion. My need for a hole in one can have multiple connotations.”
     Afterward, Sonja and I sit on the floor with Sally. We word paint impressions of each other. I think Sonja is a yuppie. Sonja jokes “Well I can be.”  This moment of intimate sharing between me and the two women helps coax me to rejoin the human family. The room hums with the healing vibrations of an earthquake receding into oceanic quiet.