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Image for the poem No one can tell the difference

No one can tell the difference

 
she met Satan riding rails of smoke
through the head of a glass dick
while gazing to the bottom
of a wishing well
when she was searching
.... For Jesus
I don't know, but I'll take a guess
I doubt she ever found him
still, she hung his cross
above her bed
hoping it might save her
from all of that evil
crawling under her skin
..... devil knows
no one sucks it harder than her
The pale horse dreams while she's awake
so...
down
she
goes
I thought Jesus saves...
........ you were wrong
Pick up her cross
watch her crucify herself
burn! Witch! Burn!
Hold the smoke
while darkness grabs a hold
I wonder what she's gonna wish for
...... Next time
Some riddles are best left unsolved
what was that glass dick all about anyway?
..... No matter
satan goes to check them out of rehab
The pale horse wanders through her dreams
as jesus weeps..... And we all pray
that this shit will never leave our systems
..... Still
no one sucks it harder than her
.... More Lies
I always knew that he does
.... let's go find him
or just ask Jesus
who was hanging out with Molly
in the crowd
I hear they're checking in to rehab
satan's already waiting at the door
with a pale horse, and a bundle of dreams
contemplating a glass dick
Because someone always sucks it better
just never better than her
I hear it's getting harder to tell the difference
while they're all lining up at the wishing well
...... now Hell is filling up at the gates
burn! Witch! Burn!
Where the fuck is Molly anyway?
...... banging on Heaven's door
while she's holding a thing they're calling a glass dick
But what the fuck is that?
......... now it's getting harder to tell the difference
no one knows!
hold the smoke while Satan fucks your sister
...... hold your breath
he fucks everything
just ask the witches
some will tell you he's hiding in the smoke
....... but they all know
that no one can tell the difference
when someone is holding a glass dick
......he's around in everything
still, Jesus weeps
no one is saving the world this time
we're all hanging out at the wishing well
going up in smoke, off the rails
No one can tell the difference
...... who cares?
who needs religion anyway?
when everyone is riding a pale horse
or looking in the mirror
They're all too busy worshipping themselves
when no one can tell the difference
sand turns to crystal in an hour glass
and we're all running out of time
evil is still hiding under our skin
no good left in the world
when no one can tell the difference
no one can suck it harder than him
....... Or her
they're all the same
Selling their souls
For a quarter rock
or a little taste of bullshit

they'd fuck anything
..... Just too busy fucking themselves
Going up in smoke

killing dreams
.... Taking turns
Pouring poison into the wishing well

we're all dying anyway

and no one can tell the difference
.... no one cares anymore

we all crucify ourselves

while chasing dreams

when you're running out of wishes..
... you just sell your soul, completely.
Hell, isn't waiting for us,  after death.
we're already here...
when we've already gone...
I know I've carried it with me...
even made it a home...
 I try to think of it
as more of a time share...
rather than a permanent residency..  these days...
but back then...
 when I was hanging out..
 at the wishing well...
 chasing that glass dick
 The devil was in everything..
  I'm not talking about Satan
  or Lucifer or any mythica
 l or theological deities..
 I've met the sacariest devil of them all...
 and it was me. ...
 but you know how it goes..
 no one could tell the difference.  

It was just me,  and a mirror on the wall.  
.    
Written by Phaedra_Farrow (Ina)
Published
Author's Note
This is about the darkest point of my life.. I wrote it on the 1 year anniversary of my father's death in April of 2017 while I was fucked up, on a relapse, after being clean for 12 years.  
I was in a dark place and felt shitty and mad at myself for going on a binge and not being able to adjust to my new "normal " while experiencing complicated grief.  I went on a trip down memory lane and wrote about the time period, I was actually a drug addict and so were all my friends.  Circa 1998,-2005 I relapsed a bit in 2017 but haven't fell back in that hole in over a year.  This piece isn't edited it,  I left it in the eratic state it came from when I wrote it for authenticity.  It is written the way a strung out person would write because I was in that moment...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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