Changes building up

Maybe the only thing keeping me here
The thought of never being able to exist again
I’d be long gone if it was a different concept  
If existence was possible even after going six feet underground
There is no surrender in this war
Weapons won’t lay themselves down
The dire need to put it out
Makes my mind go all fuzzy
 
Don’t want to keep on waiting
I have got to keep myself steady
Show them demons, I am ready
I wish the gravity was strong enough
Pull me deep, leave me to bleed
Don’t you all weep  
For I could have been yours to keep
If only you could have seen  
The changes building up in me
 
Nothing seems quite alright
It’s all dark, what was once so bright
Before the falling, something within was soaring
Kept me from going  
Not letting me slip into the cracks in between  
Now it all seems just like a dream
As if all theses colors were just an illusion
 
Don’t want to keep on waiting
I have got to keep myself steady
Show them demons, I am ready
I wish the gravity was strong enough
Pull me deep, leave me to bleed
Don’t you all weep  
For I could have been yours to keep
If only you could have seen  
The changes building up in me
 
As I bend over  
Giving up to the sound in my brain
Touch my hands on the ground  
Hold my breath and hear the sound
Of this heart started to pound