The Fan

 
A strange fan letter was in my mailbox today
It was from Iraq but I opened it anyway 

before I read I was curious and wondered 
who still sends letters nowadays I pondered 

the handwriting was tidy and neat 
the punctuation was properly complete 

it read: 

I am your most avid fan 
I always read you when I can 

I very much like your digital art 
and poems about people who fart 

your dark poems are very dark 
I like the one where the dogs just bark 

I am always impressed with your angry rants 
and artwork and poems about elephants 

you work on creatures all great and small 
but you barely mention the camel at all 

are you camelist, or anti-camel 
are you phobic about spitting tooth enamel 

Have you consigned camels to the garbage dump 
I am so full of rage, indeed, I’ve got the hump 

and this could even come to blows 
as you only reference is to camel toes 

camels are not well represented 
nor in a glowing light presented 

I implore you to fix this mistake 
this badly written poetic piss take 

camels are clever, camels are cute 
they are witty and wise and always astute 

they can temptingly flutter their eyelashes 
and carry heavy weights in camel race dashes 

they are hard working and so versatile 
there’s nothing lovelier when camels smile 

I certainly have no axe to grind 
but you’re driving me out of my mind 

so in future in this age of mammals 
please make sure you are kind to camels 

Signed: 

Your Faithfull Servant 
Ali Ba-ba The Camel 

P.s. I don’t send emails or texts as I don’t have opposable thumbs and my hooves are cloven. I am only able to smeeshe keyboards but can fit a pen between my camel toes.