I Remember

I remember how you used to brush my hair.
Slow yet firm caresses,  
Lulling me to sleep,  
Daring me to dream
Of a life above our means.
 
You’re such a liar.
 
I remember the sweet words you’d whisper in my ear,
As midnight drew close,
“You’re a very pretty girl, Nia
One day no man will ever get enough of you,”
And it’s true.
They never did.
 
No thanks to you.
 
Even when I begged.
Screamed.  
Howled like lone wolf stuck in the Sahara.
And then finally beaten into silence.
Cold, deathly
Silence.
Which oozed out from crimson cuts  
And splattered across the floor like blood spray from a gunshot.
 
I may as well have been shot.
Straight to the heart,  
Where love lives.
But love is trivial to me now.
Because I remember.
 
You!
You did this to me!
You, like Judas, betrayed me!
You gave me away just to get money that will never last.
Food that will never last.
Love, which will never last.
How dare you put that Neanderthal above me?
You were supposed to love me!
 
Even now, when I lay down with strangers  
Into the ever thickening night;
My blood still boils in unadulterated rage.
Because I still remember you.
You, the one who was supposed to protect me, yet gave me to another.
You, the woman who dared to call herself my mother.