deepundergroundpoetry.com
Levels of Love
Is life really worth it?
Is it really fair?
It’s time to end it
Wait, do I dare?
A little bit closer
Toes at the edge
Waiting for someone
To talk me out of my pledge
Nobody comes
I’m left on my own
A last gasp of life
Into the wind I am thrown
I hear your anguishing cries
Just seconds too late
You found my note of goodbye
I was in a sorrowful state
Twelve stories down
Thinking of you
You could have come with me
Together forever we two
Floor number nine
Am I doing right?
Leaving you alone
With this terrible plight?
Number six rises up
Out of the blue
My mind filled with nothing
But visions of you
I’ve done the wrong thing
I need to retract
There are ways of coping
Other than this terrible act
Floor number three
I scream out your name
Hoping that will release
Some of my shame
I will not be with you
In body no more
Always with you in spirit
Forever
Evermore
Published 18th May 2019
Author's Note
A total work of poetic fiction, entered into a contest
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
nice write---i dont like the ending...it kinda like those loser movies where the main character fights thru the whole thing and dies at the end... i would rather have a happy ending. but that takes more effort than words on a page
18th May 2019 10:53pm
Thanks for the feedback. I was trying to get across the change of mind a person has when he's halfway through the act. Maybe I couldve done it a different way
19th May 2019 1:25pm
" In body no more
Always with you in spirit
For ---
* splat * "
There's the ending you need.
Great concept of using the floor numbers on the way down as marker points in the internal conversation.
Always with you in spirit
For ---
* splat * "
There's the ending you need.
Great concept of using the floor numbers on the way down as marker points in the internal conversation.
